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Tuesday, 2 October 2012

IQ Test


Q1. Which alphabet is a question?
Q2.Which alphabet is a fly?
Q3.which alphabet is a part of our face?
Q4.which alphabet is a tool?
Q5. Which alphabet is a drink?
Q6.which alphabet is in geometry box?
Q7.which alphabet is a source of salt ?

Don't Look in Google.:-)


Answer

A1. Y
A2. B
A3. I
A4. X
A5. T
A6. D
A7. C

Sunday, 30 September 2012

Funny Faces


How To Stop Messi


Read And Complete


Ugly


I Am Almost Done


CID And 3 Idiots Remixed...


CID And 3 Idiots Remixed...
Bacchon ke Kandho ko Kitabon ke Bojh Ne Jhukaya..
wah wah!! wawa...
ACP:Daya, Tum Khoni Ko Pakdo, Mai "MUTRA VISARJAN" Karke aaya.. :-)

Don't Worry


I'M Still Waiting


C.I.D


Rajnikant


Mere Saath Bhago.


Cheeta Charas Ka Soota Lagane Wala Tha K Achanak 1 Chooha Wahan Aya Aur Bola "Mere Bhai Chad Do Nasha,Aao Mere Sath Bhago,Dekho Ye Jungle Kitna Khubsurat Hai,Aao Mere Sath Duniya Dekho"

Cheete Ne Thodi Dair Socha Phir Choohe K Sath Dodne Laga.

Aage Ek Hathi Afeem Pi Raha Tha,Chooha Phir Bola "Hathi Mere Bhai Chad Do Nasha,Aao Mere Sath Bhago,Dekho Ye Jungle Kitna Khubsurat Hai,Aao Mere Sath Dunia Dekho"

Hathi B Sath Dodne Laga.

Aage Sher Rizla Paper Le Kr Garda Tayar Kr Raha Tha,Choohay Ne Usay B Wohi Kaha. Sher Ne Rizla Side Par Rakha Aur Choohay Ko 5,6 Thappad maare. Hathi Bola"Are!! Ye To Tumhe Zindagi Ki Taraf La Raha Ha,Kiyun Maar Rahe Ho Ese?"

Sher Bola"Aee!! Kutay Da Putar Pichli Vari V Cocain Pee K 3 Ghantay Menu Jungl Vich Nachata Raha"
 

| ♥ Laws Of Life :P ♥ |


1)Law Of Telephone: When You Dial A Wrong Number, You Never Get A Busy Tone
2)Law Of Mechanical Repair: After Your Hands Become Coated With Grease Your Nose Will Begin To Itch
3)Law Of The Workshop: Any Tool, When Dropped, Will Roll To The Least Accessible Corner
4)Law Of The Alibi: If You Tell The Boss You Were Late For Work Because You Had A Flat Tire, The Next Morning You Will Have A Flat Tire
5)Bath Theorem: When The Body Is Immersed In Water, The Telephone Rings
6) Law Of Encounters: The Probability Of Meeting Someone You Know Increases When You Are With Someone You Don't Want To Be Seen With
7) Law Of The Result: When You Try To Prove To Someone That A Machine Won't Work, It Will
8) Law Of Biomechanics: The Severity Of The Itch Is Inversely Proportional To The Reach
9) Theatre Rule: People With The Seats At The Furthest From The Aisle Arrive Last
10) Law Of Coffee: As Soon As You Sit Down For A Cup Of Hot Coffee, Your Boss Will Ask You To Do Something Which Will Last Until The Coffee Is Cold
11) Law Of Proposal : After U Accept A Proposal You Will Get A Better One

Friday, 28 September 2012

A GENIUS



Is A Person
Who Can Do For
$1 What Any Fool Can
Do For $100?

-As Such V Complete
Syllabus In 1 Day,
That Lecturers
Try In 1 Semester !

A New Sun



A new sun
A new day
A new sms
Asking u to
forget all ur
worries
sorrows
& tears
for someone
who wants to
see you happy

Good Morning

Twinkle Twinkle



Twinkle twinkle lazy star,
kitna soyega uth ja yaar,
up above the world so high,
Sun has risen in the sky,
uth ke jaldi pele chai,
then call me and say hi?

I Want The Boy



I want the boy that would go into the fastfood place to order the food because he knows that i hate to do it.
I want the boy that would hold my purse when i try on clothes, not caring what people think.
I want the boy that would color with me like little kids.
I want the boy that would tell me i'm beautiful while wearing sweats.
I want the boy that would hang out with me with his friends.
I want the boy that would tell me he needs to get 'guy time.'
I want the boy that would take me on romantic dates.
I want the boy that would take me to a scary movie and let me hold his hand the whole time.
I want the boy that would watch chick flicks with me, and when i cried, he'd wipe away my tears.
I want the boy that would stay on the phone, even if i wasn't saying anything.
I want the boy that would know in a millasecond that i wasn't okay.
I want the boy that would come visit me, bring me chicken soup, and cuddle up watching daytime tv when I was sick.
I want the boy that would defend me to any a**hole or b**ch.
I want the boy that would just hold me.
I want the boy that would give me hugs that make me weak in my knees.
I want the boy that would be able to give me butterflies with just a smile.
I want the boy that could make me smile with just one kiss.
I want the boy that would kiss me in the rain.
I want the boy that would dance with me, in the rain or shine.
I want the boy that would sing with me obnoxiously.
I want the boy that would push me on the swings and catch me at the end of the slide.
I want the boy that would call me baby.
I want the boy that would say i love you and mean it with all of his heart.
I want the boy that would just be my best friend...forever.

Tuesday, 25 September 2012

"MIDNIGHT POST " LONG BUT MUST READ......


"MIDNIGHT POST "
LONG BUT MUST READ......
Girlfriend called her bf at mid-nite
Gf : Hello Dear
Bf : Haan ji (aa gayi maa ki aankh
...
...
...
pakaane)
Gf : kya kar rahe ho..?
Bf : kuch nahi (pakode talraha hu )
Gf : batao na..?
Bf : kuch nahi dear( aadhi raat ko kya
karte he..! )
Gf : neend nahi aa rahi thi socha
chalo call kar lu
Bf : achha kiya(kamini kal exam he fail
karwa kerahegi )
Gf : hello koi gana sunaona bore ho
rahi
hu
Bf : na yaar (mujhe radio staion
samajh rakha hai kya or 12 baje k
baad to radio channel bhi bnd
hojate he )
Gf : plz sunao na......
Bf : kal pakka ( uff iski
aisi ki taisi )
Gf : na mujhe aaj hi sunna he
if ulv me den u vl sing 4me
Bf : time kya ho raha he..? dear (ye
marwa k hi rahegi )
Gf : 12:30
Bf : or kal mera paper he
Gf : tumne to bola
tha ki tumhara sb ready he
Bf : haan (agr nahi bolta to teri
bakwas kon sunta)
Gf : ok to fir sunao na
Bf : par gane k bad
phone rakh degi ( fans gye beta
to jhelna to padega hi )
Gf : kyu kisi or ki call ka wait
kar rahe ho kya..?
Bf : nhn darling (ye lo saali ne
shak karna bhi start kar diya)
Gf : fir kyu bol rahe ho rakhne ko,
khao meri kasam ki kisi ki call
nahi aayegi....
Bf : teri kasam (itni raat ko to
aadmi wrong number bhi nahi
lagata)
Gf : ok chalo ab
sunao
Bf : ok (beta pyar kiye
ho to jhelna to padega hi banja
aadhi raat ko Himesh
Reshamiya )
Gf : ye wala gao tujh me rab
dikhta he yaara me kya karu....
Bf : ye mujhe nahi aata(kamini tareef
sunegi apni )
Gf : ok to koi dusra suna do...
Bf : ok wait kr sochne de(kya gau ki aaj
ke baad mere
muhse gaana sunne ka naam tak nale )
Gf : Gaao na.....
Bf : phulo ka taroon ka sabka
kahna he ek hazaaro me meri
behna he......saari umr hame
sangrahna
he..!!!!!!!! (le aaj ke baad
naam nahi legi
gaane ka...
iski to maa ki aankh )
Gf : ye kyu gaaya..?
Bf : mera favorite song he(samajhdaar
k
liye ishara kaafi
he kamini )
Gf : hmmmm mujhe neend aa rahihe
bye...
Bf : are kahan ja rahi he sun to tunahi
sunayegi kya..? (mission
complete)
Gf : bye baad me
good night tc jaanu
Bf : tc to jaan (jaan le gayi
kamini jaanu jaanu bol ke
oye teri to 2 baj gye 7 bajese paper iski
to me vaat
lga dunga )

people stay away)



Using ur brain is strictly prohibited.

Mehbuba k pyar me mar gaya peter,Mehbuba k pyar me mar gaya peter,Hero Honda Splendor 80km/Litre.

Agar ho bimar to dhundo chemist,Agar ho bimar to dhundo chemist,My name is Khan & m not a terrorist.

Rat k 2 bje baji ghar ki bell,Rat k 2 bje baji ghar ki bell,Maine Gate Khola toh,Chowkidar bola.ALL IZZ WELLALL IZZ WELL

Karna padta hai apne kharcho pe kabu,Karna padta hai apne kharcho pe kabu,Ek chutki sindur ki kimat tum kya jano ramesh babu??

Tum bin hum yu kaise ji payege,Tum bin hum yu kaise ji payege,"Aayege!Mere Karan Arjun aayege"

Cal karne se pehle balance jachna,Cal karne se pehle balance jachna,Basanti in kutto k samne mat nachna.

Girls V/s Boys


Girls V/s Boys

Boy : Agar paratha aur pizza ko 10th floor se ek saath niche fekenge to dono mese pehle kon niche girega...??
.
.
.
.
Girl : paratha
.
.
Boy : ha ha....wrong , Pizza girega.!
.
Girl : kese ??
.
Boy : kyun ki Pizza fast food hai. :P=D :P:D

Monday, 24 September 2012

Answering Service At The Mental Institute



Answering Service At The Mental Institute

"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5, and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will transferred to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until someone comes on the line.

If you are dyslexic, press 6969696969.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.

If you have post-traumatic-stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.

If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you."

Mujhe sb Pata Hai



Teacher: hamesha kaho ki mujhe sab
pata hai...
.
Pappu at home : Papa mujhe sab pata
hai ;) .
Papa : beta ye 50 ruppee le aur chup
rehna. Aunty to bas milne aati hain.
.
Pappu : Mummy mujhe sab pata hai ;)
.
Mummy : beta ye 100 ruppee le aur
chup rehna. Raamu kaka to room saaf
karte hain bas.
.
Pappu (nokar se): Raamu kaka mujhe
sab pata hai ;) .
Ramu kaka : sab jaan ne ke baad bhi
apne baap ke gale nahin lagega
pagley

)


Heart Touching


Heart touchin story
must read:)

Ek din ek ladke ki girlfrnd ka
BIRTHDAY tha.

Boy was not in that city.

So,he ordered 24 RED ROSE for
hergirlfrnd.

He called her up.

Dear maine tumhare liye utne ROSE
bheje hain jitni saal ki tum ho gyi
ho.

While delivering florist thought:
Ye aaj ka mera sabse
achhacustomer hai.
Chalo ise 10 ROSE FREE me de deta
hu.

So, he gave 34 instead of 24.
aur aaj tak ladka nahi samajh paya ki
uska BREAK- UP kyu hua..! :p

Engineer In Hell


An engineer dies and goes to the gates of the heaven. He is told by the guard, “Ah, you’re an engineer. You are in the wrong place.”
So, the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.
One day, God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, “So, how’s it going down there in hell?”
Satan replies, “Hey, things are going great. We’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there’s no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next.”
God replies, “What? You’ve got an engineer? That’s a mistake. He should never have gotten down there; send him up here.”
Satan says, “No way.” I like having an engineer on the staff, and I’m keeping him.”
God says, “Send him back up here or I’ll sue.”
Satan laughs uproariously and answers, “Yeah, right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?”

Sunday, 23 September 2012

School Life


School Life...♥♥

Wo Big gang of frnds
Wo boring uniforms
Wo cycle se school jana
Wo Silly fights
Wo teachers k naam rakhna
Wo Group photos
Wo homework na kar k jana
Wo roz ki pnishmnt
Wo P.T periods
Wo Rocking annual days So many hands in a single lunch box HORRER XAMS
Remarkable marks Terror report card
Self parents signature Lovable trips
Wo bachpan ka pehla pyar
Wo Summer holidays ka intezar
Wo Aakhri board Xam
Wo Farewell Wo sab ka bichad jana..

“SCHOOL” life is just a heaven....:)

Definition of STUDENT :-


Student wo hai jise lecture mein Angelina jolie ka khyal aata hai
Theatre mein Assignment ka sawal yaad aata hai
Mess me ghr k khane ka swaad yaad ata hai
Exam se pehli raat syllabus yaad aata hai
Practical me kuch nhi ata
fir bhi pas hone ka andaz ata hai
Bunk karte waqt class me saman bhul ata hai
lekin pkda fir bi ni jata hai
Attendance se jyada proxy lgata hai
Placement ke khyal me 4 saal brbad krwata hai
But Phir bhi Student kehlata hai

Maths Ki Story



Aj se 300 years pahle MATH bohat masom aur piyara tha.

Ek din kuch badmash studnts ne MATH ko bohat mara yahan tak k Math ki akhri Sans thi marty marty sub students ko bad dua de gya.

Aur

Ye keh ker is dunia se chala gya k mein to ja raha hoon lekin
MATHS
M = Meri
A = Aatma
T = Tumhe
H = Hamesha
S = Sataye gi

Aaj bhi math ki aatma bhatak rahi hay or saray students ko sata rahi hay or hamesha satati rahegi..
Fwd 2 all studnts.;)

Must Read


Arre Hame to apno ne luta tha...
Gairo me kahan dum tha...
Meri haddi wahan tuti jaha
hospital band tha.
mujhe us ABULANCE Me dala
jiska petrol kum tha.
Mujhe RIKSHE Me isliye bithaya
kyu ki uska kiraya kam tha..
Mujhe doctron ne uthaya.
nurson me kaha dum tha..
Mujhe us bed pe litaya.
Jiske neeche BOMB Tha...
Mujhe bomb se udaaya,
goli me kaha dum tha..
Aur COLLEGE Me Dafnaya Kyuki
KABARISTAAN Me FUNCTION THA...
Lol...!:)

Facebook Pledge



FACEBOOK humara planet hai,
hum sab facebook wasi friends-friends
hai,

hume apna planet prano se bhi pyaraa
hai,
iski sukh samridhi, vivid jokes, aur
posts per hume garv hai,

hum iske, page owner banne ka sada
preyatn karthe rehenge...

hum apne matha-pitha, shikshako, aur
gurujano se chup ke- humesha online
aane ka promiss lethe hain...

facebook wasiyon ke kalyan aur
samridhi me hi humara sukh nehit
hai..

!!!JAI FACEBOOK!!!

Boys k Top 10 Jhoot!!


Boys k t0p 10 jhoot!!
1. Mujhe tmhari bohat fikar hai
(jhoota:)
2.Tum meri life ki pEhli aur akhiri
pasand ho..
(Astagfirullah :)
3. Cell silent pe tha jaAn
( Larke ka m0bile silent? :)
4. mom ki call ha jani
(Had hogai:-)
5. Hamari shadi zarur hogi.
(jho0t m0ot wali :)
6. Mushkil waqt mei mujhe sath pa0gi..
(bhagne walon k :)
7. Pyar mei sub jaiz hai meri jaan..
(Chahe izat ki Abc h0jaye :)
8. Tmhare parents mere parents hain..
(sirf shadi se pehle tak :)
9. Tmhare siwa kisi se bAt nai krta..
(taubA kro :)
10. Tm na mili to kanwara betha
rahunga..! :-D
(pure ek haftey tak :)

ENGINEER Banega!


DAD: Jyotishi ji mujhe kaise pata chal
sakta hai ki mera beta future mein kya
banega?
JYOTISHI: aap uske table pe Cigarette,
Beer,Paiso ki Gaddi aur Books rakh do.
Unme se jo wo uthaega wahi banega.
DAD: ok Agle din Beta Aaya. Table dekhi.
Paiso ki Gaddi uthake jeb mein rakhi,
Cigarette pi, Beer chhupa li, Aur Books hath
mein leke ghar se chala gaya.
DAD: Us nalayak ne to sab kuchh leliya!
JYOTISHI: Sir Mubarak Ho!!
Aapka beta ENGINEER banega! :

3 reactions of a girl without a Boyfriend..


3 reactions of a girl without a Boyfriend..
------------------------------------------
1) Main nahi padti in chakkaro me :|
2) Gharwale important hain aur unke saamne Boy Friend
kuch bhi nahi.. : ) ... ...

3) Sab ladke kutte hote hain.. :|
_________________________________
___ OK MAMA now Tune changee.
_________________________________
Same girl after having boyfriend..

1) Yaar pata nahi kaise ho gaya pyaar.. Uske siway
kuch nahi dikhta ab mujhe :s

2) Gharwalon ko manana padega kaise bhi.. I can't
leave him :|

3) Wo baaki ladkon ki tarah kutta nahi hai... He loves
me alot.. : )

Sardiyon Ki Ek Raat!!!


Sardiyon ki Ek Khubsurat Raat Thi:
Husband&Wife Ek Garam Kambal Main Soye Hoye The. Aadhi Raat Guzarne k Bad
.
Wife ne Achanak kaha:- Sartaj Mujhe pyas lagi h plz meri Pyaas bhuja do.
.
Ye Sun kar Shohar Ne Jaldi
Se...
.
.
.
.
.
hataya,
nikal or daal diya..
.
.
.
.
.
.
dhakn hataya, glass nikala or paani daal diya
Biwi ne PAANI piya or wapis so gayi
.
Moral:
Her Husband or Wife Wala Msg Ganda Nahi Hota. :-)
but fir b tum unka hr msg kitne dhyan se padhte ho
.
:D :P :D DIRTY MIND :D :P :D

Ungalibaazi Nahi Karte.


Ek Baccha Bahut Sari Chocolate Kha Raha Tha,
Tabhi Ek Aadmi Use Salah Deta Hai.
.
Aadmi: “ Beta, Itni Chocolate Nahi Khate, Theek Nahi Hoti!! ”
.
Baccha: “ Ek Baat Bolu, Mere Dada 105 Saal Ke Hai ”
.
Aadmi: “ Achha!!, Kya Wo Bahut Chocolate Khate Hai? ”
.
Beccha:” Nahi ”
.
Aadmi: “ To, Phir? ”
.
Baccha: “ Ullu k patthe, Wo ApneKaam Se Kaam Rakhte Hai, Teri Tarha ungalbaazi Nahi Karte"

LOVE STORY OF ENGINEER:



LOVE STORY OF ENGINEER:
.
I was in12th
She was in 12th
.
I got B.Tech
She got BA
.
I was doing B.Tech
She got M.A.
.
I was preparing for M.TECH
enterance,
She got married
.
I m doing M.TECH
She is d mother of 2 children
.
I got PH.D
Her daughter is in 1st std,
.
I became DOCTRATE
her daughtr passd 10th
.
I hav joined job.
Hr Daughtr joined College.
The Greatest irony-
.
.
Today is my marriage & Her
daughtr is my WIFE .
.
Sala Agle Janam Arts hi Lunga

Professor on Practical!!!!


Psychology ka practical ho raha
tha. :-D
Professor ne 1 Chuhe k liye 1 tarf
CAKE
Aur dusri trf CHUHIYA rakh di.
Chuha fouran Cake ki trf lapka.
Dusri bar Cake ko badal kr ROTI
raki.
Chuha Roti ki trf lapka.
Is tarah kai bar food-item badle
magar
Chuha hr bar food ki trf bhaga.
Profesr: Bas, sabit ho gya ki
BHUKH hi
Sbse bdi taqat h.
Itne me last row ki bench se awaz
aai
Sir, 1 bar Chuhiya badal k bhi dekh
lo,
ho skta h wo uski “BEHAN” ho..!

Ladki Apne Boyfriend Ko Naraj Krne K Baad


Ladki apne Boyfriend ko naraz
karne ke baad SMS pe kaise manati hai..!!

1st Hour: Sorry
2nd Hour: Sorry plzz..
3rd Hour: Plzz 1 baar baat karlo.
4th Hour: Plzz reply jaan…
5th Hour: Plzzz itna naraz mat ho..
6th Hour: I’m sorry, I’ll die agar tumne baat nahi ki..
7th Hour: Dafa ho, 100 ladke ghumte haitere jaise..
Sar pe hi chadha jaa rha hai, bhaad me jaa..

Boy: Sorry Dear, balance nahi tha.
Girl: Ohh.. Its okkk love u jaan..

Funny TV ads..


Tv Ads Have Taught Me :
 You Don't Need Singing Skills To Be An Indian Idol, You Just Need Fair & Lovely..!!

That No One Can Eat Cadbury Dairymilk Chocolate Without Getting It All Across Their Face..!!

 To Close Bathroom Door While Brushing Teeth, Else A Tv Reporter Might Step In & Ask "Kya Aapke Toothpaste Mein Namak Hai?"

 Don't Buy Reliance..!! Even Anushka Sharma Couldn't Convince Ranvijay To Buy It..!!

 That Both Kareena Kapoor & Saif Ali Khan Have Serious Dandruff Problem..!!

That If You Don't Use Harpic, People Will Barge Into Your House To Clean Your Toilet..!!

 That Only Thing Super Hot Girls Care About Is Your 140 Rupees Deodorant Bathed Body ! Money Minded Women Will Fall For Any Guy Who AppliesA Deo Or Uses A Fairness Cream. No Other Quality Matters..!!

 That Salman With A Relaxo Chappal Can Achieve Many Great Things, Unlike The Salman Without The Chappals..!!

That Your Mom Will Be Proud Of You If You Take A Bath In A Puddle Of Mud! #Daag Ache Hain..!

This Is A True Love story.


This is a true story of a young college girl who passed away last month. Her name was Sara. She was hit by a dumper truck. She had a boy friend named Salman. Both of them were true lovers. They always hung on the phone. You could never see her without her cell phone. In fact she also changed her phone from Ufone to Mobilink, so both of them can be on the same network, and save on the cost. She spent half of the day talking with Salman. Sara's family knew about their relationship. Salman was very close with Sara's family. (just imagine their love). Before she passed away she always told her friends "If I pass away please bury me with my handphone" she also said the same thing to her parents.

After her death, people couldn't carry her coffin, I was there. A lot of them tried to do so but still couldn't, everybody including me, had tried to carry the coffin, the result is still the same. Eventually, they called the Maulvi sahib. He took a stick and started speaking to himself slowly. After a few minutes, he said "this girl misses something here". Then her friends told the Maulvi sahib about her intentions to bury her with her phone. He then opened the coffin and place her phone and SIM card inside the casket. After that they tried to carry the coffin. It could be moved and they carried it into the van easily. All of us were shocked.Sara's parents did not inform Salman that Sara had passed away. After 2 weeks Salman called Sara's mom. Salman :...."I'm coming home today. Cook something nice for me. Dont tell Sara that I'm coming home today, I wanna surprise her." Her mother replied....."You come home first, I wanna tell you something very important." after he came, they told him the truth about Sara.

Salman thought that they were playing a fool. He was laughing and said "don't try to fool me - tell Sara to come out, i have a gift for her Please stop this nonsense". Then they showed him her grave.

He said... "Its not true. we spoke yesterday. She still calls me. Salman was shaking. Suddenly, his phone rang. "see this is from Sara, see this..." he showed the phone to sara's family. All of them told him to answer. He talked using the loudspeaker mode. All of them heard his conversation. Loud and clear, no cross lines, no humming. It was the actual voice of Sara & there was no way others could use her SIM card since it was nailed inside the coffin. They were so shocked and asked for the Maulvi sahib's help again. The Maulvi sahib brought his aide to solve this matter. He & his aide worked for 5 hours.

Then they discovered one thing... Mobilink has the best coverage. Where ever you go, their network follows!!!

Tonight I Feel Said.



Tonight i feel sad, i feel that i have not reached anywhere in my life, i have not met my goals, my dreams, my ideas, or pleasures. I feel that i was just born again, that i have to start over, and it makes me a little scared because i dont have you. I never thought i would feel this way again, but you changed it all. You have the power to do things in my life that you dont even know. You make my days blue, or green, or black and white. Its you who decides how im going to feel, and that is not good. I love you the way you are, i love the man you are, and everything about you. Even when you make my life so tiny, and so little, i think of you, but it doesnt make me happy.
I feel that im very close to the end of what i always thought to be the best part of my life, the love i always dreamed of, the romance anyone would want, or desire, the feeling of your heart beating for many years to the same beat. All of what will be gone forever, and that is the reason for my letter.
I want to tell you that i will never forget you, i will never forget how you kiss, how you caress, how you touch my hands, how you look into my eyes, i can still remember it all. I will never forget how long i waited for you, and still wait, but its the end. I will never forget the day i found you again, and the happiness that drained out of my eyes, it was a very special moment, eventhough you were not there to see it. I will never forget our story, all these years of pain, and suffering, everything you said to me, all the songs you sang, and the letters you wrote will be in my mind for life.
I want to tell you that even though you didnt choose us, and you chose another life, it will be the bottom of my dreams and the core of my heart, it will remain there always, and it will sometimes make me cry. I will survive this because im strong, and because at least i have a love to remember in my life. You and me will never be together, but i, my love, will love you forever.

With all my heart,

Boy Asked to Girls.


One day a boy asked his girlfriend 2 marry her.
the gal gave him a challenge to live a day with out her,
only them she will marry him.
no communication was there for 24hours.
the boy dont know that the gal has only 24 hours life left.
becoz she was ill.
after 24 hrs the boy went to the gals house holding a ring.
he was shocked to know that she was dead.
she left a letter for him saying,
" U DID IT AND U CAN BE WITH OUT ME.
DO IT EVERYDAY MY LOVE... MISS YOU....!

There Was An Island



Once There Was An Island,
Where All The Feelings Lived.
1 Day There Was a Storm In d Sea
The Island Was About 2 Sink.Every
Feeling Was Scared But Love made A Boat To Escape Every Feeling Shared Da Boat,Only 1 Feeling Was Left.
Love Went 2 See Who It Was:
It Was EGO

Love Tried But EGO Didn't Move.
EveryOne Asked Love To Leave Him N Come Into Da Boat But Love Was Meant To Love.

It Remained With EGO

All The Others Went But love Died Because Of EGO.

A boy liked a girl but wanted to make her jealous.


A boy liked a girl but wanted to make her jealous.


Then one day


things went terribly wrong.


The next few weeks


were like a very sad


song.


He made her jealous


on purpose he tried.


When the girl asked, "Do you love her?"


on purpose he lied.


He played with jealousy


like it was a game.


Little did he know


Things would never be the same.


His plan was working


but he had no clue.


How wrong things would go,


the damage he would do.


One night she broke down,


feeling very


alone.


Just her and the blade,


no one else home.


She dialed his number,


he answered, "Hello"


She told him she loved him


and hung up the phone.


He raced to her


house


just a minute too late.


Found her lying in blood


her heart


had no rate.


Beside her was a note,


in it her confession.


Her love for this boy,


her only obsession.


As he read the note,


he knelt down and cried

Anger And Love Has No Limits

While Dad Was Polishing His New Car,

His 4 Yr Old Son Picked Stone & Scratched Lines On The Side Of The Car.


In His Anger, Dad Took The Child's Hand & Hit It Many Times, Not

Realizing He Was Using A Wrench.


At The Hospital, His Child Said "Dad When Will My Fingers Grow Back?"

Dad Was So Hurt.


He Went Back To Car And Kicked It A Lot Of Times.


Sitting Back He Looked At The Scratches, Child Wrote "I LOVE YOU DAD"



Anger And Love Has No Limits...

2 Chiryo Ki Love Story:



Once There Was An Island,
Where All The Feelings Lived.
1 Day There Was a Storm In d Sea
The Island Was About 2 Sink.Every
Feeling Was Scared But Love made A Boat To Escape Every Feeling Shared Da Boat,Only 1 Feeling Was Left.
Love Went 2 See Who It Was:
It Was EGO

Love Tried But EGO Didn't Move.
EveryOne Asked Love To Leave Him N Come Into Da Boat But Love Was Meant To Love.

It Remained With EGO

All The Others Went But love Died Because Of EGO.

Is It Emotional?????

Is It Emotional???
.
.
Maine "Maa" Say Pucha,
"Kab Tak Meri Fikar Main

is Tarah
... Raton ko jagti Rahogi?"
"Maa" Nay Pyar say Mera
Maatha
Chooma
Aur Kaha:
.
.
.
"Jab Tak tu Apni Dusri
Maaon say
Rat ko Bat karna nahi
Chodega ..
Moral : MAA SAB JANTI
HAI..!! [;)] hahahah 

Bache Ki Pray


Bacha:- Bhagwan kare teacher ki
zuban cut jaye. Roz roz dant ti hai.
Next day zuban cut gai..
Bacha :- Bhagwan kare master ka
hath toot jaye. Tang krta hai...
bahut marta hai.
Next day hath toot jata hai...
Bacha :- Bhagwan mere BAAP ko
utha le.
Bahut marte hai.
Next day baap ghar aate hain,
Bacha :- Papa Aapko kuch nahi
hua ??
.
Baap :- Nahi kyo
Bacha :- Maa kahan hain...??
Baap :- pados me SHARMA uncle ki
death ho gai hai, wahan Gayi
hain.

A Pray To God


Hey Prabhu!!
Un Tamam Stdnts ko exam Main
Kamyab karna...
Jinhe Saal Bhar Padhne Ka Tym Na Mila..
Un masum hatho ko himatt dena.
Jinho ne unlimtd sms
Pakages ko kabhi waste nahi hone diya.
Hey Ishwar.
Un aankho ko paper me roshni dena,
Jo din rat facebook pe baith k
Kamjor hogayi hain....
Un Garib bache aur bachiyon ki madad karna..
Jo night hours me baat karte rahe
Aur padh nahi sake...:p

Heart Touching Story




Ek 6 year k bacche ki dost
sunami me mar gyi..
Wo daily samundar k kinare jata,
Lehre aati or uske kadmo ko
bhiga jati,
Ladka rota or kehta tu kitne bhi
pav chu le..
Main kabhi tumhe maaf nahi
karunga…!

Heart Touching Story



Ek 6 year k bacche ki dost
sunami me mar gyi..
Wo daily samundar k kinare jata,
Lehre aati or uske kadmo ko
bhiga jati,
Ladka rota or kehta tu kitne bhi
pav chu le..
Main kabhi tumhe maaf nahi
karunga…!

Kya Hua Tera Wada.


Ek ladka or ladki ek dusreko bahut
pyar karte the.
Ek din ladki mar gayi, usne swarg me
se
ladke ko kaha, "ek wada tha tera har
wade ke piche, tu milega muje har
gali
har darwaje ke piche. Par kyun tu itna
BEWAEAA nikla, ek tu hi neahi tha
mere
janaze ke piche"
ladke ne ankh me ashu ke sath javab
diya, "ek wada tha mere har wadek
piche,
milunga tuje har gali har darwaje ke
piche. Tune hi mud kar nahi dekha, ek
aur janaza tha tere janaze k piche.

Meri Aankhon Ka Khyal Rakhna


A true love story: Ek ladki jo andhithi,
Sabhi usse nafrat karte the
Siwaye uske boyfriend ke,
Wo aksar apne boyfriend se kehtimain
Dekh pati to tum se shaadi kar leti,
Ek din achanak kisi ne use aankhe daan kardi,
Ladki ne sabse pehle apne boyf ko dekhna chaha
To usne dekha wo bhi andha tha,
Boy ne pucha mujhse shaadi karogi to
Ladki ne saaf mana kar diya,
Ye sunkar bf ne ldki ko
1 page par kuch likh kar diya or chala gaya,
Usme likha tha "meri aankhon ka khyal rakhna".:(

A cute love story


Boy:Kya main tumhe pyara lagta hun?
Girl:Nai
Boy:Kya tum mere sath rehna chahti ho?
Girl:Nai
Boy:Agar main marr jaun to tum ro gi?
Girl:Nai
Larka boht udas ho gya use boht dukh hua or wo rone lga
Larki ne use apne kareeb kiya or kaha
Tum Pyare nai bohut Khubsurat ho
Main tumhare sath Rehna nai balki Jeena chahti hun
Agr tumhen kuch ho gya to mein Roun gi nai Marr jaun gi
bcz i cant live without u....

Mann me Dusra laddu phoota !!!!!


GIRLFRIEND ki sister agar missed
call kare to usse
kya kahenge….???
.
.
.
.
.
. .
.
.
BETAAA
Mann me Dusra Laddu Phoota...??    

Saturday, 22 September 2012

Grils never trust their boy friend ..


Girl:-Dr. Plz mere boyfrnd
ko andar bula Lijye.
Dr:-Trust me mei sharif
admi hu..
.
.
.
..
...
.
Girl:-No Dr.
Apki nurse bahar akeli
hai
or
vo haram jada sharif nhi hai..

"Shak" check it out..



Biwi Dair Se Ghar Ayi or
Chup Chaap Bedroom Ka
Darwaza Khola to Daikha
ke Kambal men 2 ke
Bajaye 4 Taangen Nazar
Aa rhi Thin.
.
Usne Cricket Bat uthaya
or zor zor se maarna
Shuru hogai.
.
Jab maar maar ke thak
chuki to pani peene
kitchen men gai
Dekha uska shohar
wahan betha magazine
parh rha hai.
.
Shohar bola:
Tumhare Ammi abu aye
thy
Main ne un ko bedroom
men sulaya hai
Ja ke mil lo...
.
Moral:
or kro "shak":-P  

Double Meaning


‎1 inch - Are you fucking kidding?
2 inch - I can't even hold it properly.
3 inch - Never been so unsatisfied in my life.
4 inch - I've had bigger.
5 inch - Good, but not enough!
6 inch - About right.
7 inch - Can't complain.
8 inch - Fucking perfect.
9 inch - A bit much.
10 inch - It's hurting my insides.
11 inch - I can't take it anymore.
12 inch - I'm absolutely fucking destroyed.

Results of people reviewing different
Subway Sandwiches

Save Tree, Save Earth and RECYCLE PAPER !!!!!

First Day of college..
boy sees a hot beautiful girl sitting right next to him, & writes on paper"i love you, do you love me?"
he passes chit to her..
she replies "No"
he didn't give up, he rubs her answer& passed same paper to another hottie sitting left to him..
'n she replies "Yes"
.
.
moral of d story is
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
save trees, save earth and RECYCLE PAPER !;) :P

Friday, 21 September 2012

Funny Facebook Satuts

The fact of the century..

" true beauties lie in the files of hidden folder"
jise smajh aya like karo warna ja ke pogo dekho!!!!

Thursday, 20 September 2012

How Fast Can You Guess The Words


How fast can you guess the words?
1.boo_s
2.__ndom
3.f__k
4.p_n_s
5.pu_s_
6.s_x

Answers
1.books
2.random
3.fork
4.pants
5.pulse
6.six

You got all 6 wrong..!! :

Answers of a Brilliant student who obtained 0%


Answers of a Brilliant student who obtained 0%
Q. In which battle did Napoleon die?
A. His last battle.
Q. Where was the Declaration of Independence Signed?
A. At the Bottom of the Page.
Q. River Ravi flows in which state?
A. Liquid.
Q. Whats the main reason for Divorce?
A. Marriage.
Q. Whats the main reason for Failure?
A. Examinations.

Did the student Answer Anything
Wrong…???
Like TO Support Students

Thursday, 13 September 2012

Santa And Banta

Santa-Ye naya mobile kb liya tune???
Banta-Liya nahi,G.F ka uthaya hai.
Santa-kyon ????
Banta=Wo roz kehti hai ki tum mera phone nahi uthate.aaj moka dekh k utha liya :-)

Dono Sawalon Ka Jawab Ek Hi Hona Chahiye


Challange For You.
Fill in the Blanks Lekin Yaad Rahy
Dono Sawalon ka Jawab Eik Hi Hona Chahiye.

1. Badsha Ne Qameez Kyun Nahi Pehni?
2. Gosht Kyun Nahi khaya?
Qameez ka _____ nahi tha,
Gosht ____ nahi tha.

1.Wazeer Ne parda kyun nahi Silwaya?
2.Murga Kyun nahi Khareda?
Parda ____ nahi tha,
Murga ____ nahi tha.

1.Shehzadi Ne Halwa kyun Nahi Khaya?
2.Kahani Kyun nahi Parhi?
Halway kay Saath ____ nahi thi,
Kahani ____ Nahi thi.

Reply Fast.

Answers:
1.Gala
2.Kata
3.Poori

Wednesday, 12 September 2012

Funny Ques!!


Funny Riddles:

-What Is More Useful After It Is Broken?
.

.

An Egg

-Which Is The Most Shocking City?

.

.

Electri-City

-Name Two Things You Can Never Eat Before Breakfast?

.

.

Dinner & Lunch

-How Many Men Were Born In Europe?

.

.

None, Only Babies Were Born

-If Your Clock Strikes 13, What Times It Is?

.

.

Time To Buy A New Clock

Sunday, 22 July 2012

Girls & Boys in Exam

7 Things Girls Do In an Exam Hall:

1. Write
2. Tuck Hair Behind Ears
3. Again Write
4. Chnge d Empty Refill
5. Again Write
6. Ask for Extra Sheet
7. Again Keep Writing

Seven things Boys do in an Exam Hall:

1. Count d No of Girls
2. Check Out the Young Lady Supervisor
3. Counting hw many windows n doors..
4. Revising the Location of Chits in d Pockets
5. Seeing the Brand Name of the Pen
6. Regreting Wasting the Last Nght Studying
7. Think 2 study well atleast 4 nxt xam

& After Exams…

Girls: u Knw Paper Bahut Kharab Gaaya, it ws so Lengthy I Culd’nt Draw a Diagram… I am Going to Fail (Means 80+ Marks)

Boys: Fun Hai Yaar, Saala Ek Raat Padh Ke Paas… Chal Dhabe Pe Chal K Parothe Khayen :D :

Girls Before Going To Party!!

Girlzs b4 going 2 party….

Facial
Bleach
Waxing
Hair
…Curlin
Threading
Scrubing
Moisturising
done

&puts on
Lipstik
Lipgloss
Lipliner
Perfume
Body toner
Body lotion
Eye liner
Eye shadow
Eye maskara
Foundation
Face powder
Rings
Bracelets
Neckless
Nail paint
Nail shadow
and
Says-

“Yar, jald baazi me kuch kia hi ni, aise hi uth kar aa gayi..=pp

Boys b4 going 2 party ask each other…

“Bhai tu naha k aega kya?”=p

Murgi ki Paheli

 Ek murgi aur uske teen bache road cross kar rahe the.

Road cross karne ke baad murgi ke ek bache ne kaha, “Aakhir hum paanchon ne road cross karliya”.

Paanch kaise?
..
..
..
..
..
Socho Socho …
..
..
..
..
..
Kaise Hua?
..
..
..
..
..
Aur Jara Socho
..
..
..
..
..
Are bacha hai, kuchh bhi bol sakta hai

?Ye baat samajh me aayi nahi

?Ye baat samajh me aayi nahi
Aur mummy ne samajhai nahi.
Mai kaise mithi baat karu?
Jab mithi chiz koi khai nhi.
Ye chand kaise maamu hai?
Jab mumy ka wo bhai nahi.
Kyu lambe baal hai bhaalu ke?
Kyu usne triming karai nahi.
Kya wo bi ganda bachha hai?
Ya jungle me koi naai nahi.
Nana ki biwi jab nani hai,
Dada ki biwi jab dadi hai.
Papa ki biwi kyon papi nahi?
Samundar ka rang kyu neela hai?
Jab neel kisi ne milai nahi.
Jab school me itni neend aati hai.
Toh kyu bed waha rakhwai nahi?
Ye baat samajh mein aayi nahi
Aur mummy ne samjhai nhai

Dedicated To All Engineering Students

Dedicated To All Engineering Students
............
just imagine

u r alone
in
a
dense forest
its
night
a fearful
wind
blows
and
u
find
a ghostly
old
building
there of
15 feet
tall with
fearful heart ua
then
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
draw the 1,front view
2.top view
3.side view of the building
and also discuss the parabolic path covered
by the dead body. a

Santa dabang dekh ker aaya

Santa dabang dekh ker aaya,

School mei…

Sir: santa tumhare sare ans. galat hn,
marks de to kahan?

Santa: Kamal karte hai sirji, marks hi to mang rahe hai,chup chap de do warna thappad mar k b le sakte hai.

Sir: Badtamiz
kya bak rha hai?

Santa: Badtamiz se yaad aya sir, apke papa kaise hai?

Sir: nikal ja class se!

Santa: Chup chap se marks de do sir, warna ans sheet me itne chhed karunga, ki confuse ho jaoge ki marks kaha de aur zero kahan!!

Ek ladki apne boyfriend se park mein roz milne jata tha

Ek ladki apne boyfriend se park mein roz milne jati Wo roz time par pohonchti,
lekin ladka hamesha late aata Lekin ladki kabhi usse naraz nahi hoti,
Ek din ladki park mei nahi pohonchi,
Ladka gusse se uske ghar gaya Waha pata chala ki ladki ko blood cancer hai aur wo sirf 6 din jiyegi,
Ladka rote huye ghar aya aur sucide karne buildng ke 100th floor par gaya,
Aur ladki ke liye 1 letter chodda Usme likha tha..
Tum mera hamesha wait karti thi aur me roz
late ata tha lekin aaj main jaldi pohonch raha hu aur tumara wait karunga..
.
.
.
.
.
.
Theek ussi wakt Shaktimaan waha se ja raha tha
Kya Shaktimaan usse bacha payega..?
Janne k liye dekhte rahiye SHAKTIMAAN

Dosto Ki Bhavanaye

must read.
For all my friends.
Dosto ki 'Bhavnaaye'..!!:D :D .
.
EXPRESSION OF HAPPINESS-
... 1st frnd- oye meri gf ban gyi,
2nd frnd- hatt saale jhuta, shakal dekhi h apni.
.
.
. EXPRESSION OF ANGER-
1st-abey sale fir pit k aa gaya.
2nd-abey aankho me dhul chali gayi varna mu tod
deta salo k.. .
... .
.
. EXpression of partyin 2gether.. .
1st- or kamine treat kab de raha h.
2nd- kyo tere baap ki shadi h kya... .
.
.
.
EXpression of help..
1st- oye yar zara vaha chaliyo..
2nd-pahle bata kuch khilayega kya.. .
.
.
. No one is more cheap than our frnds, sab kamine hote h, but still we love 2 be wid demcoz in d end they r d
most irritating bt precious joyful part of our lyf..!!
♥ :)

Dost Ki Dosti

Dost Wo Nahi Jo Aap Ke Kaam Aaye
Dost Wo Hai Jo Aapki T-Shirt Maang Kar Le Jaye
Aur Kabhi Wapis Na Kare…

Dost Wo Bhi Nahi Jo Aapko Treat De
Dost Wo Hai Jo Aap Ke Ghar Aaye,
Aur Kahe, “Aaj Kya Pka Hai, Jo Bhi Hai Jaldi Se Le Aa…”

Dost Wo Nahi Jo Call Kar Ke Milne Aaye
Dost Wo Hai Jo Ghar Ke Saamne Message Kare, “Kaminey Bahar Aa…”

Dost Wo Nahi Jo Janaze Pe Aaye
Dost Wo Hai Jo Kabar Pe T-Shirt Le Aaye Aur Kahe,
“Le Nahi Chahiye Tera Ehsaan Chal Uth Aur Meri Dosti Wapis Kar…”

Ram & Sita

Ram Ne Sita Ko SMS Kiya,
Dear Situ,
What’s up?
Main Yaha Mast Hu and Hope Tu Bhi Good Hogi,
Laxman Tujhe Miss Karta Hai…
Yaar Tu Tension Na Le,
Main Bahut Jaldi Tujhe Ravan Ke Yaha Se Le Jaunga.
Maine BSNL Ka Sim Liya Hai, Aur Ravan Ka Number Free Karwa Liya Hai,
Ravan Ko Maine Mobile Per Bahut Gaaliya Di,
Saale Ne Ye Bol Ke Phone Kaat Diya Ki Battery Low Hai,
Main Tujhe Micromax Ka 30 Days Battery Backup, Dual Sim Wala,
Aur 8GB Ka Card Sad Song Bhar Ke Mr. Hanuman Ke Hath Bhej Raha Hun.
Isme Net Surfing Bhi Hai…
Ab Hum Tum Night Mein Calling Ke Maje Le Payenge,
India Mein 3G Bhi Lauch Ho Chuka Hai,
Ho Sake To Lanka Se Video Calling Ka Try Karna…

Laxman Top-up Card Lene Gaya Hai, Aur Haan Maine Vibhishan Ko Facebook Pe Add Kar Liya Hai. Lanka Mein Kya Ho Raha Hai, Wo Sab Status Update Kar Deta Hai,
Chal Baad Mein Chat Karenge, Bye!
Love You… Ram

O God तू अपरम्पारा

O God तू अपरम्पारा
करो बेडा पार हमारा
My Boat फंसी मझधारा
please give me some सहारा

I don’t have any किनारा
नहीं दिखता कोई नजारा
Please take Fastly ANy action
मैं बिकता खड़े बजारा

O God तू अपरम्पारा
करो बेडा पार हमारा
please give me some power
मैं बन जाऊं चाँद सितारा

मेरी विनती सुन लो GODA
मैं लेता नाम तुम्हारा….

Thursday, 5 July 2012

Read This Funny Story


Read This Funny Story :
.
.
Ek din ek kutta jungle main raasta kho gaya.
Tabhi usne dekha ek sher uski taraf aa raha hai.
Kutte ki saans ruk gayi.
"Aaj to kaam tamaam mera!"
Phir usne saamne kuchh sookhi haddiyan padi
dekhi.
Woh aate hue sher ki taraf peeth kar ke baith
gaya aur ek sookhi hadii ko choosne
laga aur zor zor se bolne laga,
"wah! Sher ko khaane ka mazaa hi kuch aur hai.
Ek aur mil jaaye to poori daawat ho jayegi!"
Aur usne zor se dakaar mara.
.
Is baar sher soch mein pad gayaa,
Usne socha "ye kutta to sher ka shikar karta hai!
Jaan bacha kar bhago!"
Ped par baitha ek Bandar yeh sab tamasha dekh
raha tha.
Usne socha yeh mauka achhahai sher ko saari
kahani bata deta hoon isse sher se
dosti ho jayegi aur zindagi bhar ke liye jaan ka
khatra dur ho jayega !
.
Woh fatafat sher ke pichhe bhaaga.
Kutte ne Bandar ko jaate huedekh liya !
.
Udhar Bandar ne sher ko sab bata diya ki kaise
kutte ne use bewakoof banaya hai.
Sher ne zor se kaha,
"chal mere saath abhi uski leela khatam karta
hoon",
aur Bandar ko apni peeth par baitha kar sher
kutte ki taraf lapka. ! !
Can u imagine the quick management by the
DOG..??
.
.
.
.
Kutte ne sher ko aate dekha to ek baar phir uski
taraf peeth karke baith gaya aur zor
zor se bolne laga,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Is Bandar ko bheje huye 1 ghanta ho gaya,
saala ek sher fasaa kar nahi la saka..!!"

Truth Of Studens


Truth Of Studens.. :P

Most Common Dialogues During Exam -

1. Saale kitna likhega?

2. Abbe zor se bol na kuch sunai nai de raha :P

3. Ma’am I was asking for da eraser :(

4. Bata na fattu koi nai dekh raha :/

5. Yaar ye chapter kab karvaya tha?

6. Yar ek din or mil jaata to padh lete

7. WTF..!!

8. Paper kisne set kiya hai?

9. Paper kaisa tha?

10. sheet ko thora right main rakh na.aur khud thora khisak ke beth...han abb dikhyi dee raha hai.
And The Famous one

11. bhagwaan bus is baar paas kardo.. Maa Kasam..
next tym acche se padhayi karunga xD !! ♥

Wednesday, 4 July 2012

A Good Teacher



A Good Teacher Is Who
Tells To Study Hard...

But,,

A Best Teacher Is Who
Stands Outside D
Examination Hall N Shouts. . .

"OYE CHECKING WALE AA GAYE
APNI APNI PARCHIY CHUPA LO..." =

Exams Rocks!!


Cricket is getting excited day by day with the introduction of ICL n T20...

Same rules should be applied in Examz!

(1) Exams Timing Should Be Reduced To One Hour.

(2) Power Play - No Invigilator In Exam Hall For 1st 15 mins.

(3) Cheer Leaders - To Dance After Every Right Answer Written.

(4) Strategic Time-Out - Time For Students For Discussion.

(5) Super Over - Chance For Students To Form Their Own Question. :-)

CRIME PATROL me mai ap sbka swagat krta hu


CRIME PATROL me mai ap sbka swagat krta
hu

YE EK TRUE incident-hai
isse frwd kijeye taki bharat me
OR KISI BACCHE K SATH aisa na ho
Date 2 July'12.
Jise soch k Insaan ki Ruh tak
kaanp jati hai..
Magar zalimo k hath tak na
kaanpe Mumbai me 18 saal ki ek Masum ladki
jisne abi-abhi 12th ka xam diya tha
Or jo din uske khelne kudne k the Uske sage
Baap
.
Or kamine Bhai ne milkar us
masum .
ko
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zabardasti
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. .
"Engineering ka form" Bharwa diya

Ammi main shadi nahi karun gi





Larrki: Ammi main shadi nahi karun gi or
agar zabardasti tum ny meri shadi ki to ghar sy bhag jaun gi
maa rote huwy boli beti mai ne bhag k
tere abba k sath shadi ki
teri khala or behen ny b bhag k shadi ki
tera bhai nokrani k sath
or
tera chacha dhoban k sath bahag gya
teri phopho sabzi waly k sath
or
couzin doodh waly k sath bhag gai
tera bap 2 bar parrosan k sath bhag chuka hai
ab tu b bhag jaye gi to..
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Hamari kya izzat reh jaye gi
kuch khayal kar.

A little kid walks into a city bus


A little kid walks into a city bus and sits-right behind the driver and starts yelling,
“If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I’d be a little bull.”
The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with,
“If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant.”
The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yellsat the kid,
“What if your dad was gay and your mom was a prostitute?!”

The kid smiles and says, “I would be a bus driver!”

Chhoti si love story..!!


Chhoti si love story..!!
Ek dada aur dadi ne
Apni jawani ke dino ko fir se yaad kar ke manane ka socha,

Un hone faisla kiya ke hum phir darya kinare milenge

Dada subha jaldi uth kar tayyar ho ke
gulab le kar phoche par dadi nahi aayi..

Dada gusse me ghar pahoch,
tum aayi nahi, main intzar karta raha thmara

Dadi ne sharma kar kaha
maa ne jane nahi diya..!!

Solve This Puzzle :

Solve This Puzzle : 

When Bullet Was Fired On Dog, 
Tiger Died. 

Why??? 

Think 

.. ? 

.. ? 

B?Coz Dog?S Name Was Tiger . 

Improve Ur Knowledge Yaar. 

Apki Underwear Me Kya Hai??


Apki Underwear Me Kya Hai?





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Elastic Hi Hoga,Naare Wali Kon Pehanta Hai Aj Kal.

If A Baby Is Born In Africa


If A Baby Is Born In Africa...
Wh8 Will B The Color Of The Baby's Teeth ?















Why U Waste This Much Time !
How Will A New Born Baby Have Teeth

Confusing Question


B Elow Are Four (4) Questions And A Bonus Question. You Have To Answer Them Instantly. You Can't Take Your Time, Answer All Of Them Immediately . OK?
Let's Find Out Just How Clever You Really Are....
Ready? GO!!!

First Question:

You Are Partinipating In A Race. You Overtake The Second Person. What Position Are You In ?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~

Answer: If You Answered That You Are First, Then You Are Absolutely Wrong! If You Overtake The Second Person, You Take His Place, So You Are Second!

Try Not To Screw Up Next Time.

Now Answer The Second Question, But Don't Take As Much Time As You Took For The First One, OK ?


Second Question:

If You Overtake The Last Person, Then You Are...?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
Answer: If You Answered That You Are Second To Last, Then You Are Wrong Again. Tell Me, How Can You Overtake The LAST Person ?
You're Not Very Good At This, Are You ?




Third Question:
Very Tricky Arithmetic ! Note: This Must Be Done In Your Head Only .
Do NOT Use Paper And Pencil Or A Calculator. Try It.
Take 1000 And Add 40 To It. Now Add Another 1000. Now Add 30 .
Add Another 1000. Now Add 20. Now Add Another 1000.
Now Add 10. What Is The Total ?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~




Did You Get 5000 ?

The Correct Answer Is Actually 4100.
If You Don't Believe It, Check It With A Calculator !

Today Is Definitely Not Your Day, Is It ? Maybe You'll Get The Last Question Right.... ...Maybe.....

Fourth Question:
Mary's Father Has Five Daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What Is The Name Of The Fifth Daughter ?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~

Did You Answer Nunu?

NO ! Of Course It Isn't. Her Name Is Mary. Read The Question Again !

Okay, Now The Bonus Round:

A Mute Person Goes Into A Shop And Wants To Buy A Toothbrush. By Imitating The Action Of Brushing His Teeth He Successfully Expresses Himself To The Shopkeeper And The Purchase Is Done.

Next, A Blind Man Comes Into The Shop Who Wants To Buy A Pair Of Sunglasses; How Does HE Indicate What He Wants ?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~

He Just Has To Open His Mouth And Ask... It's Really Very Simple.... Like You !

PASS THIS ON TO FRUSTRATE THE SMART PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE

1 Student College Mai Admision Lene Gya.


1 Student College Mai Admision Lene Gya.

Test Lene Wale Ne Kaha: Mai Tum Se 1 Mushkil Swal Poochun Ya 10 Aasaan Swal?

Student: 1 Mushkil Swal

Teacher: Batao Din Pehle Aata Hy Ya Raat?

Student: Din

Teachr: Wo Kese?

Studet: Excuse Me Sir! Ye Aap Ne Doosra Sawal Pooch Lia Hy:D

Full Inteligent. .

Do You Know A Lot Of People Ask Stupid Questions??


Do You Know A Lot Of People Ask Stupid Questions??
> 10 Most Stupid Questions' People Usually Ask In
> Obvious Situations And
> Some Equally Stupid Answers.
>
> 1. At The Movies: When You Meet Acquaintances/Friends...
> Stupid Question:- Hey, What Are You Doing Here?
> Answer:- Don't U Know, I Sell Tickets In Black Over
> Here..
>
> 2. In The Bus: A Heavy Lady Wearing Pointed High Heeled Shoes Steps On
> Your Feet...
> Stupid Question:- Sorry, Did That Hurt?
> Answer:- No, Not At All, I'm On Local Anesthesia.....
> Why Don't You Try Again.
>
> 3. At A Funeral: One Of The Teary Eyed People Ask...
> Stupid Question:- Why, Why Him, Of All People.
> Answer:- Why? Would It Rather Have Been You?
>
> 4. At A Restaurant: When You Ask The Waiter
> Stupid Question:- Is The 'Paneer Butter Masala' Dish Good??
> Answer:- No, Its Terrible And Made Of Adulterated
> Cement. We Occasionally Also Spit In It.
>
> 5. At A Family Get-Together: When Some Distant Aunt Meets You After
> Years...
> Stupid Question:- Munna,Chickoo, You've Become So Big.
> Answer:- Well You Haven't Particularly Shrunk
> Yourself.
>
> 6. When A Friend Announces Her Wedding, And You Ask...
> Stupid Question:- Is The Guy You're Marrying Good?
> Answer:- No, He's A Miserable Wife Beating,
> Insensitive Lout...It's Just
> The Money.
>
> 7. When You Get Woken Up At Midnight By A Phone Call...
> Stupid Question:- Sorry. Were You Sleeping?
> Answer:- No. I Was Doing Research On Whether The Zulu Tribes In Africa
> Marry Or Not. And You Thought I Was Sleeping.... You
> Dumb Witted Moron.
>
> 8. When You See A Friend/Colleague With Evidently Shorter Hair...
> Stupid Question:- Hey Have You Had A Haircut?
> Answer:- No, Its Autumn And I'm Shedding......
>
> 10. You Are Smoking A Cigarette And A Cute Woman Asks...
> Stupid Question:- Oh, So You Smoke.
> Answer:- Gosh, It's A Miracle ............It Was A Piece Of Chalk And
> Now It's In Flames!!!

Extra Kameena ßacha!

Extra Kameena ßacha!
Son: Papa apki love marrige hai na?
Dad: Haan per tumhen kese pta?
Son: Apki shadi or meri date of birth me sirf 5 month ka fark hai :

Student Rock Teacher Shock!!!


TeaCHer:Koi ASHiqi WaLa SHer SuNaO
-
StuDeNT:
MoTa MarTa MoTi Pe,
BHuKa MarTa RoTi Pe,
MasTarji Ki 2 BeTiYa
Mai To MarTa ChoTi Pe

Original And Modified

ORIGINAL :
Tumse milne ki tamanna hai…………pyar ka eerada hai…………
aur ek vaada hai…………J..a….a..n..a…m……..

MODIFIED :
Tumko marne ki tamanna hai……dushmani ka eerada hai……….
aur ek vaada hai…………..Z…..a…a…l…i…m………

ORIGINAL :
Tum paas ayae…………. yun muskuraye…………….
tum ne na jaane kya……… sapne dikhaye…………
ab to mera dil jaage na soota hai………….kya karun hai……
Kuch Kuch Hota Hai…………….

MODIFIED :
Machar paas ayae…………yun bhin bhinayae…………..
machar ne na jaane kyon ………sapne churaye…………
ab to raat bhar so nahin paata hun…………kya karun hai….
Machar Bhin Bhinate Hain………..

ORIGINAL:
Bazigar O…. bazigar…….tu hai bada Jaadugar………….
mera dil tha akela …………tune khel aisa khela ………….
tere yaad mein jaagu raat bhar…..r..r..r..r…….

MODIFIED:
Bazigar O…. bazigar…….tu hai bada Dhokebar………….
tune dil mera tooda …………maine Fevicol se jooda ………….
tere yaad mein mare Machaar…..r..r..r..r…….

ORIGINAL:
Jab bhi koi ladki deekhon……..mera dil dewana bole
ole……ole ole……ole…ole…ole………
gaon tarana yaara jhoom jhoom ke hoole hoole………….
Ole…..Ole …..Ole……………….Ole….Ole…..Ole……..

MODIFIED:
Jab bhi koi Party deekhon……..mera bhoka paet (stomach) bole
chole……chole…chole……chole…chole…chole………
khao bhar paet yaara jhoom jhoom ke hoole hoole………….
chOle…..chOle
…..chOle……………….chOle….chOle…..

Rajni And Deepika




Rajni Rocks
Deepika : ek chutki sindoor ki kimat tumkya jano Rajni Babu.......
.
.
Rajnikant : Rs 0.012645787 yennaarascala mind it!

Rajni Rocks

once Rajni, Santa banta n CID were going through forest

suddenly a strong storm came

santa said to banta,"ab hum bach nai paenge"
...
ACP said to Daya,"pata lagao ye tufaan kis taraf se aaya h"

n rajni said

"SORRY FOR SNEEZING
EXCUSE ME"

Santa Rocks!!


Banta: My Dad Dug
the Suez Canal

Santa: That-s nothing
have you heard of
Dead Sea...

Banta: yes,

Santa: My Dad
Killed it

Latest pj of d season!


Latest pj of d season!
Wat do u call a husband who returns home!
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Don-t even guess!!!
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Pati-ala-house!!

Student's Life is Like English



Movies on school


movies on school
1. School-Yaadein
2. Principal -Jaani Dushman
3. Classes -Kabhi kabhi
4. Canteen-Kabhi alvida na kehna
5. Course-Godzilla
6. Exams - Kalyu
7. Examination hall-Chamber of secret
8. Exam-time - Qayamat se qayamt tak
9. Question paper - Paheli
10. Answer paper - Kora kagaz
11. Cheating - chupke chupke
12. Paper out - Plan 13. Examiner - The killer
14. Last exam - Independence day
15. Paper correction - Andha kanoon

Ek baar 2 chintiyo ke hathi k sath jhagde hote hai..


Ek baar 2 chintiyo ke hathi k sath jhagde hote hai...

Toh woh chintiya ped pe baithi rehti hai... Aur niche se hathi jata hai..
Toh achanak ek chinti upar se hathi k upar jump karti hai...
Toh dusri chinti kya kahegi,
.
.
.
. .
.
.
.
..DABA sale ko....

Mumbai Mantralay



Mumbai MANTRALAY ki AAG fire-brigade walon se bujh nahi rahi thi.

Rajnikanth wahan se gujra 5 miunte mein aag bujh gayi...

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Kyunki usne galti se MUTRAALAY padh liya tha!

Tuesday, 3 July 2012

Paani Mein HI Gadbadi hai

Paani mein Whiskey milao toh nasha chadta hai,
Paani mein Rum milao toh nasha chadta hai,
Paani mein Brandy milao toh nasha chadta hai,
Saala paani mein hi kuch gadbad hai… :)

Sad Good Night Shayari


Dard aapke intezar ka hum chup chap sehte hain
Kyunki aap har pal hamare dil mein rehte hain
Na jane hume nind aayegi bhi ke nahi lakin
Aap thik se so sako isliye aapko Good Night kehte hain…

Student Life


. On being Late:

“Kab shuru hua?”

“Attendance ho gayi kya??”

“Kal raat der tak gappe marte rahe yaar”

“Mein kya karu, wo bathroom mein ghusa hua tha”

“Aab nind nahi khuli to mein kya karu…….. . bolna …….. kal kya padaya tha sir ne”

“Kal se pakka class karunga”

“Ek page de na………. abe pen bhi to de…….”

“Yaar iss class ke liye koi subah kaise aa sakta hai……..”

2. During the lecture:

“Yesss !!!! Sir…….The answer is …….huuuummmmm. ……aaaaaaaa. ……… ..”

“No sir…..I know the answer …….sir.. ..”

“Saala apne aapko Newton samajta hai”

“Abe lecture ko chod….. dekh wo kya lag rahi hai aaj……..”

“Uske bagal mein nahi baith sakta tha…….gadha. ……”

“Kya bore ho raha hai. Bola tha movie dekhne chalte hain ”

“Heads, we go Movie , Tails, we go Movie now!!!”

“class khatam hote hi Soft drink chahiye….. .”

3. Lab

“Expt. 2 Kiya kya??”

“Isme Karna kya hai??”

“Yeh bhai…..mereko aata to tere pass kyon aata…….. ”

“Are tu to bura maan gaya……. dikha na………”

4. Tests

“Tests???? …..Aree yaar…… ”

“Kya…… abe Test mein itna topic hai to annual mein kya hoga….”

“Boss….. hogaya…… aur nahi ho sakta……. .jaan nahi de sakta……. ”

“Oh !!! Itna syllabus cover ho gaya ?”

“Aaj kounsa test hai?”

“Oye Mera dost kaha hai……uska roll number mere baad hai…….wo nahi aaya to mein pakka fail….”

After test……

“yaar pada tha….recall nahi kar paya…….chhod na ……. Canteen chalega…”

5. For attendance (less attendance isliye attendance badane ke liye bahane)

“I was in the class, lecturer mark karna bhool gaya ”

“Oye usko thoda khus kar list se tera naam hata dega…….. ”

“Bola tha proxy regularly maar……. Saale teri class karne ka kya faida hua…..”

6. Late submission of Projects

“Maine usko bola thaa ki copy karke mera assignment bhi saath mein submit kar dena”

“Last date extend hui thi”

“I didn’t know the last date”

“Ab mein kya karu usne mereko bole bina hi submit kar diya…….”

“They should allow XEROX……. .”

7 . After exam

“Yeh bhi syllabus mein thaa kya?”

“Achha !!! ye aise hota hai kya?”

“Ye Kaunsi book me tha”

“1st mein 3 marks…..2nd mein 0…….3rd mein 2…….Gaya. ……… fail pakka……. ”

“Yaar notice lagte hi faad dena…….. wo kya soochegi mera marks dekh kar……”

8 VIVA (b4 exam)

“Submission ab tak hua nahi hai , VIVA kya ghanta doonga”

“Aeee……Rohit. ….terese kya poocha…… .”

“External ke ghar mein bacche nahi hai kya…….”

“Dekh Boss!! external bhi aadmi hai. Usko pata hai students ki ab tak preparation nahi hui hai”

9 . VIVA (General)

“Dekh , tu jo bhi padhega , woh (external) tereko woh nahi poochhnewaala, then watz the point”

“Roll no. 1 aur 2 ki watt laga di hai”

“External is asking Bermuda Triangle ka Magnetic force kitna hai”

“Ye kounse unit mein aata hai”

10 . Submission

“Ye bhi chhapna hai kya?”

“Iska bhi print-out lena hai kya?”

“Jai ho computer baba ki……jai ho Ctrl C – Ctrl V ki…….”

“Tujhe Sir ka sign aata hai kya?”

“Ye tune kya likha hai????”

(The best one)

“Jo word samajh mein aa raha hai woh likh, jo nahi samajh mein aa raha hai uski drawing nikal”

“Phir bhi, kuch to idea hoga??”

” Maine uska likha hai, mera assignment check ho gaya , tu bhi wohi kar.”

“Koi hint…….. ”

“Are baba ghasit de……..na tu samjega na wo……..”

12. Exam

“Jo (mujhe) aata hai, woh (paper mein)aata nahi hai; jo nahi aata hai who aata hai”

“ye question 2 saal se nahi poochha hai”

“ye last time hi poochha thaa”

“tere paas is ke notes hai??”

“woh chapter… mark weightage 6 marks… (facial ex-pressions speaks the story)”

“nahi samjha to rat le”

“External ke aane ke pura scene hai……. ”

“Iss paper mein roll number ka kya order hai……..”

“Pichle paper mein to kuch to aata tha…….issmein to anda aata hai……”

“Ek aur din ka gap de dete to kya 3rd World War ho jata tha kya……..”

…….. bas ek bar wapas lautne ka man karta hai ………
…….. Aaj har wo baat yaad aati hai…….
…….. kuch buri batein jo ab acchi lagti hain ……..
…….. kuch batein jo kal ki hi batein lagti hain ……..
…….. abki baar class attend karne ka man karta hai ……..
…….. Dopahar ki class mein aakhen band karne ka man karta hai……
…….. hostel ke chat ki wo raat yaad aati hai ……..
…….. exam ke time pe wo hasi mazak bahut pyari lagti hai ……..
…….. tab ki bekar lagne wali photo’s chehre pe hasi laati hai …….
…….. Apni galtiyon pe tumse daat khana yaad aata hai. ……..
…….. Par tumhari galti dekhne ka man karta hai……..
…….. Aaj tum bahut yaad aate ho…….
……..fir waise hi subah uthne ka man karta hai……..
……..bas ek bar wapas lautne ka man karta hai……..
……..bas ek bar aur …….
……..wapas lautne ka man karta hai