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Sunday, 22 July 2012

Girls & Boys in Exam

7 Things Girls Do In an Exam Hall:

1. Write
2. Tuck Hair Behind Ears
3. Again Write
4. Chnge d Empty Refill
5. Again Write
6. Ask for Extra Sheet
7. Again Keep Writing

Seven things Boys do in an Exam Hall:

1. Count d No of Girls
2. Check Out the Young Lady Supervisor
3. Counting hw many windows n doors..
4. Revising the Location of Chits in d Pockets
5. Seeing the Brand Name of the Pen
6. Regreting Wasting the Last Nght Studying
7. Think 2 study well atleast 4 nxt xam

& After Exams…

Girls: u Knw Paper Bahut Kharab Gaaya, it ws so Lengthy I Culd’nt Draw a Diagram… I am Going to Fail (Means 80+ Marks)

Boys: Fun Hai Yaar, Saala Ek Raat Padh Ke Paas… Chal Dhabe Pe Chal K Parothe Khayen :D :

Girls Before Going To Party!!

Girlzs b4 going 2 party….

Facial
Bleach
Waxing
Hair
…Curlin
Threading
Scrubing
Moisturising
done

&puts on
Lipstik
Lipgloss
Lipliner
Perfume
Body toner
Body lotion
Eye liner
Eye shadow
Eye maskara
Foundation
Face powder
Rings
Bracelets
Neckless
Nail paint
Nail shadow
and
Says-

“Yar, jald baazi me kuch kia hi ni, aise hi uth kar aa gayi..=pp

Boys b4 going 2 party ask each other…

“Bhai tu naha k aega kya?”=p

Murgi ki Paheli

 Ek murgi aur uske teen bache road cross kar rahe the.

Road cross karne ke baad murgi ke ek bache ne kaha, “Aakhir hum paanchon ne road cross karliya”.

Paanch kaise?
..
..
..
..
..
Socho Socho …
..
..
..
..
..
Kaise Hua?
..
..
..
..
..
Aur Jara Socho
..
..
..
..
..
Are bacha hai, kuchh bhi bol sakta hai

?Ye baat samajh me aayi nahi

?Ye baat samajh me aayi nahi
Aur mummy ne samajhai nahi.
Mai kaise mithi baat karu?
Jab mithi chiz koi khai nhi.
Ye chand kaise maamu hai?
Jab mumy ka wo bhai nahi.
Kyu lambe baal hai bhaalu ke?
Kyu usne triming karai nahi.
Kya wo bi ganda bachha hai?
Ya jungle me koi naai nahi.
Nana ki biwi jab nani hai,
Dada ki biwi jab dadi hai.
Papa ki biwi kyon papi nahi?
Samundar ka rang kyu neela hai?
Jab neel kisi ne milai nahi.
Jab school me itni neend aati hai.
Toh kyu bed waha rakhwai nahi?
Ye baat samajh mein aayi nahi
Aur mummy ne samjhai nhai

Dedicated To All Engineering Students

Dedicated To All Engineering Students
............
just imagine

u r alone
in
a
dense forest
its
night
a fearful
wind
blows
and
u
find
a ghostly
old
building
there of
15 feet
tall with
fearful heart ua
then
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
draw the 1,front view
2.top view
3.side view of the building
and also discuss the parabolic path covered
by the dead body. a

Santa dabang dekh ker aaya

Santa dabang dekh ker aaya,

School mei…

Sir: santa tumhare sare ans. galat hn,
marks de to kahan?

Santa: Kamal karte hai sirji, marks hi to mang rahe hai,chup chap de do warna thappad mar k b le sakte hai.

Sir: Badtamiz
kya bak rha hai?

Santa: Badtamiz se yaad aya sir, apke papa kaise hai?

Sir: nikal ja class se!

Santa: Chup chap se marks de do sir, warna ans sheet me itne chhed karunga, ki confuse ho jaoge ki marks kaha de aur zero kahan!!

Ek ladki apne boyfriend se park mein roz milne jata tha

Ek ladki apne boyfriend se park mein roz milne jati Wo roz time par pohonchti,
lekin ladka hamesha late aata Lekin ladki kabhi usse naraz nahi hoti,
Ek din ladki park mei nahi pohonchi,
Ladka gusse se uske ghar gaya Waha pata chala ki ladki ko blood cancer hai aur wo sirf 6 din jiyegi,
Ladka rote huye ghar aya aur sucide karne buildng ke 100th floor par gaya,
Aur ladki ke liye 1 letter chodda Usme likha tha..
Tum mera hamesha wait karti thi aur me roz
late ata tha lekin aaj main jaldi pohonch raha hu aur tumara wait karunga..
.
.
.
.
.
.
Theek ussi wakt Shaktimaan waha se ja raha tha
Kya Shaktimaan usse bacha payega..?
Janne k liye dekhte rahiye SHAKTIMAAN

Dosto Ki Bhavanaye

must read.
For all my friends.
Dosto ki 'Bhavnaaye'..!!:D :D .
.
EXPRESSION OF HAPPINESS-
... 1st frnd- oye meri gf ban gyi,
2nd frnd- hatt saale jhuta, shakal dekhi h apni.
.
.
. EXPRESSION OF ANGER-
1st-abey sale fir pit k aa gaya.
2nd-abey aankho me dhul chali gayi varna mu tod
deta salo k.. .
... .
.
. EXpression of partyin 2gether.. .
1st- or kamine treat kab de raha h.
2nd- kyo tere baap ki shadi h kya... .
.
.
.
EXpression of help..
1st- oye yar zara vaha chaliyo..
2nd-pahle bata kuch khilayega kya.. .
.
.
. No one is more cheap than our frnds, sab kamine hote h, but still we love 2 be wid demcoz in d end they r d
most irritating bt precious joyful part of our lyf..!!
♥ :)

Dost Ki Dosti

Dost Wo Nahi Jo Aap Ke Kaam Aaye
Dost Wo Hai Jo Aapki T-Shirt Maang Kar Le Jaye
Aur Kabhi Wapis Na Kare…

Dost Wo Bhi Nahi Jo Aapko Treat De
Dost Wo Hai Jo Aap Ke Ghar Aaye,
Aur Kahe, “Aaj Kya Pka Hai, Jo Bhi Hai Jaldi Se Le Aa…”

Dost Wo Nahi Jo Call Kar Ke Milne Aaye
Dost Wo Hai Jo Ghar Ke Saamne Message Kare, “Kaminey Bahar Aa…”

Dost Wo Nahi Jo Janaze Pe Aaye
Dost Wo Hai Jo Kabar Pe T-Shirt Le Aaye Aur Kahe,
“Le Nahi Chahiye Tera Ehsaan Chal Uth Aur Meri Dosti Wapis Kar…”

Ram & Sita

Ram Ne Sita Ko SMS Kiya,
Dear Situ,
What’s up?
Main Yaha Mast Hu and Hope Tu Bhi Good Hogi,
Laxman Tujhe Miss Karta Hai…
Yaar Tu Tension Na Le,
Main Bahut Jaldi Tujhe Ravan Ke Yaha Se Le Jaunga.
Maine BSNL Ka Sim Liya Hai, Aur Ravan Ka Number Free Karwa Liya Hai,
Ravan Ko Maine Mobile Per Bahut Gaaliya Di,
Saale Ne Ye Bol Ke Phone Kaat Diya Ki Battery Low Hai,
Main Tujhe Micromax Ka 30 Days Battery Backup, Dual Sim Wala,
Aur 8GB Ka Card Sad Song Bhar Ke Mr. Hanuman Ke Hath Bhej Raha Hun.
Isme Net Surfing Bhi Hai…
Ab Hum Tum Night Mein Calling Ke Maje Le Payenge,
India Mein 3G Bhi Lauch Ho Chuka Hai,
Ho Sake To Lanka Se Video Calling Ka Try Karna…

Laxman Top-up Card Lene Gaya Hai, Aur Haan Maine Vibhishan Ko Facebook Pe Add Kar Liya Hai. Lanka Mein Kya Ho Raha Hai, Wo Sab Status Update Kar Deta Hai,
Chal Baad Mein Chat Karenge, Bye!
Love You… Ram

O God तू अपरम्पारा

O God तू अपरम्पारा
करो बेडा पार हमारा
My Boat फंसी मझधारा
please give me some सहारा

I don’t have any किनारा
नहीं दिखता कोई नजारा
Please take Fastly ANy action
मैं बिकता खड़े बजारा

O God तू अपरम्पारा
करो बेडा पार हमारा
please give me some power
मैं बन जाऊं चाँद सितारा

मेरी विनती सुन लो GODA
मैं लेता नाम तुम्हारा….

Thursday, 5 July 2012

Read This Funny Story


Read This Funny Story :
.
.
Ek din ek kutta jungle main raasta kho gaya.
Tabhi usne dekha ek sher uski taraf aa raha hai.
Kutte ki saans ruk gayi.
"Aaj to kaam tamaam mera!"
Phir usne saamne kuchh sookhi haddiyan padi
dekhi.
Woh aate hue sher ki taraf peeth kar ke baith
gaya aur ek sookhi hadii ko choosne
laga aur zor zor se bolne laga,
"wah! Sher ko khaane ka mazaa hi kuch aur hai.
Ek aur mil jaaye to poori daawat ho jayegi!"
Aur usne zor se dakaar mara.
.
Is baar sher soch mein pad gayaa,
Usne socha "ye kutta to sher ka shikar karta hai!
Jaan bacha kar bhago!"
Ped par baitha ek Bandar yeh sab tamasha dekh
raha tha.
Usne socha yeh mauka achhahai sher ko saari
kahani bata deta hoon isse sher se
dosti ho jayegi aur zindagi bhar ke liye jaan ka
khatra dur ho jayega !
.
Woh fatafat sher ke pichhe bhaaga.
Kutte ne Bandar ko jaate huedekh liya !
.
Udhar Bandar ne sher ko sab bata diya ki kaise
kutte ne use bewakoof banaya hai.
Sher ne zor se kaha,
"chal mere saath abhi uski leela khatam karta
hoon",
aur Bandar ko apni peeth par baitha kar sher
kutte ki taraf lapka. ! !
Can u imagine the quick management by the
DOG..??
.
.
.
.
Kutte ne sher ko aate dekha to ek baar phir uski
taraf peeth karke baith gaya aur zor
zor se bolne laga,
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.
.
.
.
.
.
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"Is Bandar ko bheje huye 1 ghanta ho gaya,
saala ek sher fasaa kar nahi la saka..!!"

Truth Of Studens


Truth Of Studens.. :P

Most Common Dialogues During Exam -

1. Saale kitna likhega?

2. Abbe zor se bol na kuch sunai nai de raha :P

3. Ma’am I was asking for da eraser :(

4. Bata na fattu koi nai dekh raha :/

5. Yaar ye chapter kab karvaya tha?

6. Yar ek din or mil jaata to padh lete

7. WTF..!!

8. Paper kisne set kiya hai?

9. Paper kaisa tha?

10. sheet ko thora right main rakh na.aur khud thora khisak ke beth...han abb dikhyi dee raha hai.
And The Famous one

11. bhagwaan bus is baar paas kardo.. Maa Kasam..
next tym acche se padhayi karunga xD !! ♥

Wednesday, 4 July 2012

A Good Teacher



A Good Teacher Is Who
Tells To Study Hard...

But,,

A Best Teacher Is Who
Stands Outside D
Examination Hall N Shouts. . .

"OYE CHECKING WALE AA GAYE
APNI APNI PARCHIY CHUPA LO..." =

Exams Rocks!!


Cricket is getting excited day by day with the introduction of ICL n T20...

Same rules should be applied in Examz!

(1) Exams Timing Should Be Reduced To One Hour.

(2) Power Play - No Invigilator In Exam Hall For 1st 15 mins.

(3) Cheer Leaders - To Dance After Every Right Answer Written.

(4) Strategic Time-Out - Time For Students For Discussion.

(5) Super Over - Chance For Students To Form Their Own Question. :-)

CRIME PATROL me mai ap sbka swagat krta hu


CRIME PATROL me mai ap sbka swagat krta
hu

YE EK TRUE incident-hai
isse frwd kijeye taki bharat me
OR KISI BACCHE K SATH aisa na ho
Date 2 July'12.
Jise soch k Insaan ki Ruh tak
kaanp jati hai..
Magar zalimo k hath tak na
kaanpe Mumbai me 18 saal ki ek Masum ladki
jisne abi-abhi 12th ka xam diya tha
Or jo din uske khelne kudne k the Uske sage
Baap
.
Or kamine Bhai ne milkar us
masum .
ko
.
zabardasti
.
. .
"Engineering ka form" Bharwa diya

Ammi main shadi nahi karun gi





Larrki: Ammi main shadi nahi karun gi or
agar zabardasti tum ny meri shadi ki to ghar sy bhag jaun gi
maa rote huwy boli beti mai ne bhag k
tere abba k sath shadi ki
teri khala or behen ny b bhag k shadi ki
tera bhai nokrani k sath
or
tera chacha dhoban k sath bahag gya
teri phopho sabzi waly k sath
or
couzin doodh waly k sath bhag gai
tera bap 2 bar parrosan k sath bhag chuka hai
ab tu b bhag jaye gi to..
.
.
.
.
.
.
Hamari kya izzat reh jaye gi
kuch khayal kar.

A little kid walks into a city bus


A little kid walks into a city bus and sits-right behind the driver and starts yelling,
“If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I’d be a little bull.”
The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with,
“If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant.”
The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yellsat the kid,
“What if your dad was gay and your mom was a prostitute?!”

The kid smiles and says, “I would be a bus driver!”

Chhoti si love story..!!


Chhoti si love story..!!
Ek dada aur dadi ne
Apni jawani ke dino ko fir se yaad kar ke manane ka socha,

Un hone faisla kiya ke hum phir darya kinare milenge

Dada subha jaldi uth kar tayyar ho ke
gulab le kar phoche par dadi nahi aayi..

Dada gusse me ghar pahoch,
tum aayi nahi, main intzar karta raha thmara

Dadi ne sharma kar kaha
maa ne jane nahi diya..!!

Solve This Puzzle :

Solve This Puzzle : 

When Bullet Was Fired On Dog, 
Tiger Died. 

Why??? 

Think 

.. ? 

.. ? 

B?Coz Dog?S Name Was Tiger . 

Improve Ur Knowledge Yaar. 

Apki Underwear Me Kya Hai??


Apki Underwear Me Kya Hai?





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?


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?




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?




?



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?



Elastic Hi Hoga,Naare Wali Kon Pehanta Hai Aj Kal.

If A Baby Is Born In Africa


If A Baby Is Born In Africa...
Wh8 Will B The Color Of The Baby's Teeth ?















Why U Waste This Much Time !
How Will A New Born Baby Have Teeth

Confusing Question


B Elow Are Four (4) Questions And A Bonus Question. You Have To Answer Them Instantly. You Can't Take Your Time, Answer All Of Them Immediately . OK?
Let's Find Out Just How Clever You Really Are....
Ready? GO!!!

First Question:

You Are Partinipating In A Race. You Overtake The Second Person. What Position Are You In ?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~

Answer: If You Answered That You Are First, Then You Are Absolutely Wrong! If You Overtake The Second Person, You Take His Place, So You Are Second!

Try Not To Screw Up Next Time.

Now Answer The Second Question, But Don't Take As Much Time As You Took For The First One, OK ?


Second Question:

If You Overtake The Last Person, Then You Are...?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
Answer: If You Answered That You Are Second To Last, Then You Are Wrong Again. Tell Me, How Can You Overtake The LAST Person ?
You're Not Very Good At This, Are You ?




Third Question:
Very Tricky Arithmetic ! Note: This Must Be Done In Your Head Only .
Do NOT Use Paper And Pencil Or A Calculator. Try It.
Take 1000 And Add 40 To It. Now Add Another 1000. Now Add 30 .
Add Another 1000. Now Add 20. Now Add Another 1000.
Now Add 10. What Is The Total ?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~




Did You Get 5000 ?

The Correct Answer Is Actually 4100.
If You Don't Believe It, Check It With A Calculator !

Today Is Definitely Not Your Day, Is It ? Maybe You'll Get The Last Question Right.... ...Maybe.....

Fourth Question:
Mary's Father Has Five Daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What Is The Name Of The Fifth Daughter ?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~

Did You Answer Nunu?

NO ! Of Course It Isn't. Her Name Is Mary. Read The Question Again !

Okay, Now The Bonus Round:

A Mute Person Goes Into A Shop And Wants To Buy A Toothbrush. By Imitating The Action Of Brushing His Teeth He Successfully Expresses Himself To The Shopkeeper And The Purchase Is Done.

Next, A Blind Man Comes Into The Shop Who Wants To Buy A Pair Of Sunglasses; How Does HE Indicate What He Wants ?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~

He Just Has To Open His Mouth And Ask... It's Really Very Simple.... Like You !

PASS THIS ON TO FRUSTRATE THE SMART PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE

1 Student College Mai Admision Lene Gya.


1 Student College Mai Admision Lene Gya.

Test Lene Wale Ne Kaha: Mai Tum Se 1 Mushkil Swal Poochun Ya 10 Aasaan Swal?

Student: 1 Mushkil Swal

Teacher: Batao Din Pehle Aata Hy Ya Raat?

Student: Din

Teachr: Wo Kese?

Studet: Excuse Me Sir! Ye Aap Ne Doosra Sawal Pooch Lia Hy:D

Full Inteligent. .

Do You Know A Lot Of People Ask Stupid Questions??


Do You Know A Lot Of People Ask Stupid Questions??
> 10 Most Stupid Questions' People Usually Ask In
> Obvious Situations And
> Some Equally Stupid Answers.
>
> 1. At The Movies: When You Meet Acquaintances/Friends...
> Stupid Question:- Hey, What Are You Doing Here?
> Answer:- Don't U Know, I Sell Tickets In Black Over
> Here..
>
> 2. In The Bus: A Heavy Lady Wearing Pointed High Heeled Shoes Steps On
> Your Feet...
> Stupid Question:- Sorry, Did That Hurt?
> Answer:- No, Not At All, I'm On Local Anesthesia.....
> Why Don't You Try Again.
>
> 3. At A Funeral: One Of The Teary Eyed People Ask...
> Stupid Question:- Why, Why Him, Of All People.
> Answer:- Why? Would It Rather Have Been You?
>
> 4. At A Restaurant: When You Ask The Waiter
> Stupid Question:- Is The 'Paneer Butter Masala' Dish Good??
> Answer:- No, Its Terrible And Made Of Adulterated
> Cement. We Occasionally Also Spit In It.
>
> 5. At A Family Get-Together: When Some Distant Aunt Meets You After
> Years...
> Stupid Question:- Munna,Chickoo, You've Become So Big.
> Answer:- Well You Haven't Particularly Shrunk
> Yourself.
>
> 6. When A Friend Announces Her Wedding, And You Ask...
> Stupid Question:- Is The Guy You're Marrying Good?
> Answer:- No, He's A Miserable Wife Beating,
> Insensitive Lout...It's Just
> The Money.
>
> 7. When You Get Woken Up At Midnight By A Phone Call...
> Stupid Question:- Sorry. Were You Sleeping?
> Answer:- No. I Was Doing Research On Whether The Zulu Tribes In Africa
> Marry Or Not. And You Thought I Was Sleeping.... You
> Dumb Witted Moron.
>
> 8. When You See A Friend/Colleague With Evidently Shorter Hair...
> Stupid Question:- Hey Have You Had A Haircut?
> Answer:- No, Its Autumn And I'm Shedding......
>
> 10. You Are Smoking A Cigarette And A Cute Woman Asks...
> Stupid Question:- Oh, So You Smoke.
> Answer:- Gosh, It's A Miracle ............It Was A Piece Of Chalk And
> Now It's In Flames!!!

Extra Kameena ßacha!

Extra Kameena ßacha!
Son: Papa apki love marrige hai na?
Dad: Haan per tumhen kese pta?
Son: Apki shadi or meri date of birth me sirf 5 month ka fark hai :

Student Rock Teacher Shock!!!


TeaCHer:Koi ASHiqi WaLa SHer SuNaO
-
StuDeNT:
MoTa MarTa MoTi Pe,
BHuKa MarTa RoTi Pe,
MasTarji Ki 2 BeTiYa
Mai To MarTa ChoTi Pe

Original And Modified

ORIGINAL :
Tumse milne ki tamanna hai…………pyar ka eerada hai…………
aur ek vaada hai…………J..a….a..n..a…m……..

MODIFIED :
Tumko marne ki tamanna hai……dushmani ka eerada hai……….
aur ek vaada hai…………..Z…..a…a…l…i…m………

ORIGINAL :
Tum paas ayae…………. yun muskuraye…………….
tum ne na jaane kya……… sapne dikhaye…………
ab to mera dil jaage na soota hai………….kya karun hai……
Kuch Kuch Hota Hai…………….

MODIFIED :
Machar paas ayae…………yun bhin bhinayae…………..
machar ne na jaane kyon ………sapne churaye…………
ab to raat bhar so nahin paata hun…………kya karun hai….
Machar Bhin Bhinate Hain………..

ORIGINAL:
Bazigar O…. bazigar…….tu hai bada Jaadugar………….
mera dil tha akela …………tune khel aisa khela ………….
tere yaad mein jaagu raat bhar…..r..r..r..r…….

MODIFIED:
Bazigar O…. bazigar…….tu hai bada Dhokebar………….
tune dil mera tooda …………maine Fevicol se jooda ………….
tere yaad mein mare Machaar…..r..r..r..r…….

ORIGINAL:
Jab bhi koi ladki deekhon……..mera dil dewana bole
ole……ole ole……ole…ole…ole………
gaon tarana yaara jhoom jhoom ke hoole hoole………….
Ole…..Ole …..Ole……………….Ole….Ole…..Ole……..

MODIFIED:
Jab bhi koi Party deekhon……..mera bhoka paet (stomach) bole
chole……chole…chole……chole…chole…chole………
khao bhar paet yaara jhoom jhoom ke hoole hoole………….
chOle…..chOle
…..chOle……………….chOle….chOle…..

Rajni And Deepika




Rajni Rocks
Deepika : ek chutki sindoor ki kimat tumkya jano Rajni Babu.......
.
.
Rajnikant : Rs 0.012645787 yennaarascala mind it!

Rajni Rocks

once Rajni, Santa banta n CID were going through forest

suddenly a strong storm came

santa said to banta,"ab hum bach nai paenge"
...
ACP said to Daya,"pata lagao ye tufaan kis taraf se aaya h"

n rajni said

"SORRY FOR SNEEZING
EXCUSE ME"

Santa Rocks!!


Banta: My Dad Dug
the Suez Canal

Santa: That-s nothing
have you heard of
Dead Sea...

Banta: yes,

Santa: My Dad
Killed it

Latest pj of d season!


Latest pj of d season!
Wat do u call a husband who returns home!
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Don-t even guess!!!
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Pati-ala-house!!

Student's Life is Like English



Movies on school


movies on school
1. School-Yaadein
2. Principal -Jaani Dushman
3. Classes -Kabhi kabhi
4. Canteen-Kabhi alvida na kehna
5. Course-Godzilla
6. Exams - Kalyu
7. Examination hall-Chamber of secret
8. Exam-time - Qayamat se qayamt tak
9. Question paper - Paheli
10. Answer paper - Kora kagaz
11. Cheating - chupke chupke
12. Paper out - Plan 13. Examiner - The killer
14. Last exam - Independence day
15. Paper correction - Andha kanoon

Ek baar 2 chintiyo ke hathi k sath jhagde hote hai..


Ek baar 2 chintiyo ke hathi k sath jhagde hote hai...

Toh woh chintiya ped pe baithi rehti hai... Aur niche se hathi jata hai..
Toh achanak ek chinti upar se hathi k upar jump karti hai...
Toh dusri chinti kya kahegi,
.
.
.
. .
.
.
.
..DABA sale ko....

Mumbai Mantralay



Mumbai MANTRALAY ki AAG fire-brigade walon se bujh nahi rahi thi.

Rajnikanth wahan se gujra 5 miunte mein aag bujh gayi...

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.
.

Kyunki usne galti se MUTRAALAY padh liya tha!

Tuesday, 3 July 2012

Paani Mein HI Gadbadi hai

Paani mein Whiskey milao toh nasha chadta hai,
Paani mein Rum milao toh nasha chadta hai,
Paani mein Brandy milao toh nasha chadta hai,
Saala paani mein hi kuch gadbad hai… :)

Sad Good Night Shayari


Dard aapke intezar ka hum chup chap sehte hain
Kyunki aap har pal hamare dil mein rehte hain
Na jane hume nind aayegi bhi ke nahi lakin
Aap thik se so sako isliye aapko Good Night kehte hain…

Student Life


. On being Late:

“Kab shuru hua?”

“Attendance ho gayi kya??”

“Kal raat der tak gappe marte rahe yaar”

“Mein kya karu, wo bathroom mein ghusa hua tha”

“Aab nind nahi khuli to mein kya karu…….. . bolna …….. kal kya padaya tha sir ne”

“Kal se pakka class karunga”

“Ek page de na………. abe pen bhi to de…….”

“Yaar iss class ke liye koi subah kaise aa sakta hai……..”

2. During the lecture:

“Yesss !!!! Sir…….The answer is …….huuuummmmm. ……aaaaaaaa. ……… ..”

“No sir…..I know the answer …….sir.. ..”

“Saala apne aapko Newton samajta hai”

“Abe lecture ko chod….. dekh wo kya lag rahi hai aaj……..”

“Uske bagal mein nahi baith sakta tha…….gadha. ……”

“Kya bore ho raha hai. Bola tha movie dekhne chalte hain ”

“Heads, we go Movie , Tails, we go Movie now!!!”

“class khatam hote hi Soft drink chahiye….. .”

3. Lab

“Expt. 2 Kiya kya??”

“Isme Karna kya hai??”

“Yeh bhai…..mereko aata to tere pass kyon aata…….. ”

“Are tu to bura maan gaya……. dikha na………”

4. Tests

“Tests???? …..Aree yaar…… ”

“Kya…… abe Test mein itna topic hai to annual mein kya hoga….”

“Boss….. hogaya…… aur nahi ho sakta……. .jaan nahi de sakta……. ”

“Oh !!! Itna syllabus cover ho gaya ?”

“Aaj kounsa test hai?”

“Oye Mera dost kaha hai……uska roll number mere baad hai…….wo nahi aaya to mein pakka fail….”

After test……

“yaar pada tha….recall nahi kar paya…….chhod na ……. Canteen chalega…”

5. For attendance (less attendance isliye attendance badane ke liye bahane)

“I was in the class, lecturer mark karna bhool gaya ”

“Oye usko thoda khus kar list se tera naam hata dega…….. ”

“Bola tha proxy regularly maar……. Saale teri class karne ka kya faida hua…..”

6. Late submission of Projects

“Maine usko bola thaa ki copy karke mera assignment bhi saath mein submit kar dena”

“Last date extend hui thi”

“I didn’t know the last date”

“Ab mein kya karu usne mereko bole bina hi submit kar diya…….”

“They should allow XEROX……. .”

7 . After exam

“Yeh bhi syllabus mein thaa kya?”

“Achha !!! ye aise hota hai kya?”

“Ye Kaunsi book me tha”

“1st mein 3 marks…..2nd mein 0…….3rd mein 2…….Gaya. ……… fail pakka……. ”

“Yaar notice lagte hi faad dena…….. wo kya soochegi mera marks dekh kar……”

8 VIVA (b4 exam)

“Submission ab tak hua nahi hai , VIVA kya ghanta doonga”

“Aeee……Rohit. ….terese kya poocha…… .”

“External ke ghar mein bacche nahi hai kya…….”

“Dekh Boss!! external bhi aadmi hai. Usko pata hai students ki ab tak preparation nahi hui hai”

9 . VIVA (General)

“Dekh , tu jo bhi padhega , woh (external) tereko woh nahi poochhnewaala, then watz the point”

“Roll no. 1 aur 2 ki watt laga di hai”

“External is asking Bermuda Triangle ka Magnetic force kitna hai”

“Ye kounse unit mein aata hai”

10 . Submission

“Ye bhi chhapna hai kya?”

“Iska bhi print-out lena hai kya?”

“Jai ho computer baba ki……jai ho Ctrl C – Ctrl V ki…….”

“Tujhe Sir ka sign aata hai kya?”

“Ye tune kya likha hai????”

(The best one)

“Jo word samajh mein aa raha hai woh likh, jo nahi samajh mein aa raha hai uski drawing nikal”

“Phir bhi, kuch to idea hoga??”

” Maine uska likha hai, mera assignment check ho gaya , tu bhi wohi kar.”

“Koi hint…….. ”

“Are baba ghasit de……..na tu samjega na wo……..”

12. Exam

“Jo (mujhe) aata hai, woh (paper mein)aata nahi hai; jo nahi aata hai who aata hai”

“ye question 2 saal se nahi poochha hai”

“ye last time hi poochha thaa”

“tere paas is ke notes hai??”

“woh chapter… mark weightage 6 marks… (facial ex-pressions speaks the story)”

“nahi samjha to rat le”

“External ke aane ke pura scene hai……. ”

“Iss paper mein roll number ka kya order hai……..”

“Pichle paper mein to kuch to aata tha…….issmein to anda aata hai……”

“Ek aur din ka gap de dete to kya 3rd World War ho jata tha kya……..”

…….. bas ek bar wapas lautne ka man karta hai ………
…….. Aaj har wo baat yaad aati hai…….
…….. kuch buri batein jo ab acchi lagti hain ……..
…….. kuch batein jo kal ki hi batein lagti hain ……..
…….. abki baar class attend karne ka man karta hai ……..
…….. Dopahar ki class mein aakhen band karne ka man karta hai……
…….. hostel ke chat ki wo raat yaad aati hai ……..
…….. exam ke time pe wo hasi mazak bahut pyari lagti hai ……..
…….. tab ki bekar lagne wali photo’s chehre pe hasi laati hai …….
…….. Apni galtiyon pe tumse daat khana yaad aata hai. ……..
…….. Par tumhari galti dekhne ka man karta hai……..
…….. Aaj tum bahut yaad aate ho…….
……..fir waise hi subah uthne ka man karta hai……..
……..bas ek bar wapas lautne ka man karta hai……..
……..bas ek bar aur …….
……..wapas lautne ka man karta hai

Engineer


Engineer Woh Hai Jo Aksar Phasta Hai
Interviews Ke Sawaal Mae
Badi Companiyon Ki Chaal Mae
Boss Aur Client Ke Bawaal Mae

Engineer Woh Hai Jo Pak Gaya Hai
Meetings Ki Jhelai Mae
Submissions Ki Gehrai Mae
Teamwork Ki Chatai Mae

Engineer Woh Hai Jo Laga Rahta Hai
Schedule Ko Failane Mae
Targets Ko Khiskaane Mae
Roz Naye-Naye Bahane Mae

Engineer Woh Hai Jo
Lunch Time Mae Breakfast Karta Hai
Dinner Time Mae Lunch Karta Hai
Commutation Ke Waqt Soya Karta Hai

Engineer Woh Hai Jo Pagal Hai
Chai Aur Samose Ke Pyar Mae
Cigeratte Ke Khumar Mae
Birdwatching Ke Vichar Mae

Engineer Woh Hai Jo Khoya Hai
Reminders Ke Jawaab Mae
Na Milne Wale Hisaab Mae
Behtar Bhavishya Ke Khwaab Mae

Engineer Woh Hai Jise Intezaar Hai
Weekend Night Manane Ka
Boss Ke Chhutti Jaane Ka
Increment Ki Khabar Aane Ka

Engineer Woh Hai Jo Sochta Hai
Kaash Padhai Pe Dhyaan Diya Hota
Kaash Teacher Se Panga Na Liya Hota
Kaash Ishq Na Kiya Hota

Aur Sabse Behtar To Ye Hota
Kambakht Engineering Hi Na Kiya Hota

Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye


Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye
Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye
Aur humare dil se awaaz nikalii….
Santa Singh…Tusin Ethe vii aa gaye !!!

Jane Kyu Log Pyaar Krte Hai


jaane kyon log flirt karte hain
jaane kyon woh affairs chalate hain
jaane kyon….jaane kyon…
jaane kyon jaane kyon jaane kyon

affairs bin jeene main rakha kya hai
affair jiska nahi woh tanha hai
affair 100 rang lekar ata hai
affair hi zindagi sajaata hai

log chup-chupkar affair chalate hain
aur sabke samne frnds ban jate hain
jaane kyon..jaane kyon,,,
jaane kyon jaane kyon jaane kyon

affair best frnds main ladai karata hai
affair main banda pagal ho jarta hai
affair na chahte hue bhi chal jata hai
affair bahut badnami karata hai
akhir main har ladai ka base ban jata hai
jaane kyon ..jaane kyon
jaane kyon jaane kyon jaanekyon

lekin kabhi kabhi ye payar main convert ho jata hai
jhoot har such aur such har jhoot ho jata hai
payar ki gaadi main 5th gear lag jata hai
aur yun affair zindagi ka safar ban jata hai
jaane kyon… jaane kyon

Give Me Some Shine

Saari umr hum
Guest service main mar gaye
Ek pal to ab humein jeene do
jeene do
Saari umr hum
Guest service main mar gaye
Ek pal to ab humein jeene do
jeene do
Na na na….Na na na….Na na na….Na na nana na….

Give me some fllllight
Give me some trrrrain
Give me another chance
I wanna go home once again
Give me some fllllight
Give me some trrrrain
Give me another chance
I wanna go home once again

Kandhon ko laptop
Ke bojh ne jhukaya

Guest se jhoot bolna tho khud
Manager ne sikhaya

Medical ki joothi report laaoge to chhuti, varna kismat futi
Guest service kar kar ke pada Dimag pe
FRONT OFFICE, F B, FOOD PRODUCTION AND HOUSE KEEPING ka bukhar.

Is Project ne to sala poora..
Poora bheja pakka daala

Career to gaya
GF bhi gayi
Ek pal to ab humein
jeene do jeene do
Career to gaya
GF bhi gayi
Ek pal to ab humein
jeene do jeene do

Saari umru hum
Guest service main jee liye
Ek pal to ab humein jeene do
jeene do

Na na na….Na na na….Na na na….Na na nana na….

Give me some fllllight
Give me some trrrrain
Give me another chance
I wanna go home once again
Give me some fllllight
Give me some trrrrain
Give me another chance
I wanna go home once again
Na na na….Na na na….Na na na….Na na nana na….
Na na na….Na na na….Na na na….Na na nana na….

Parodies Of Popular Bollywood Song


ORIGINAL :
Tumse milne ki tamanna hai…………pyar ka eerada hai…………
aur ek vaada hai…………J..a….a..n..a…m……..

MODIFIED :
Tumko marne ki tamanna hai……dushmani ka eerada hai……….
aur ek vaada hai…………..Z…..a…a…l…i…m………

ORIGINAL :
Tum paas ayae…………. yun muskuraye…………….
tum ne na jaane kya……… sapne dikhaye…………
ab to mera dil jaage na soota hai………….kya karun hai……
Kuch Kuch Hota Hai…………….

MODIFIED :
Machar paas ayae…………yun bhin bhinayae…………..
machar ne na jaane kyon ………sapne churaye…………
ab to raat bhar so nahin paata hun…………kya karun hai….
Machar Bhin Bhinate Hain………..

ORIGINAL:
Bazigar O…. bazigar…….tu hai bada Jaadugar………….
mera dil tha akela …………tune khel aisa khela ………….
tere yaad mein jaagu raat bhar…..r..r..r..r…….

MODIFIED:
Bazigar O…. bazigar…….tu hai bada Dhokebar………….
tune dil mera tooda …………maine Fevicol se jooda ………….
tere yaad mein mare Machaar…..r..r..r..r…….

ORIGINAL:
Jab bhi koi ladki deekhon……..mera dil dewana bole
ole……ole ole……ole…ole…ole………
gaon tarana yaara jhoom jhoom ke hoole hoole………….
Ole…..Ole …..Ole……………….Ole….Ole…..Ole……..

MODIFIED:
Jab bhi koi Party deekhon……..mera bhoka paet (stomach) bole
chole……chole…chole……chole…chole…chole………
khao bhar paet yaara jhoom jhoom ke hoole hoole………….
chOle…..chOle
…..chOle……………….chOle….chOle…..chOle……

Sad story

Saawan ka mausam tha
Poonam ki raat thi

Mein uske paas tha
Woh mere karib thi
Phir woh mere paas aayi
Aur thodi si ghabraayi

Jab maine uska haath pakada
Toh woh thodi si sharmaayi
Usne kaha aaj hum
Aise bandhan mein bandh jaaye
Jise duniya ki
Koi taakat na tod paaye

Meri khushi ka andaaza
Lagana mushkil tha
Par iske aage jo hua
Woh batana bhi mushkil tha

Usne mera haath
Haatho mein lekar kaha
Yeh toh janam janmo
Ka bandhan hai

Phir mujhe yaad aaya
Woh Saawan ka mausam
Woh poonam ki raat
Yeh to Raksha Bandhan hai

Mere Dost Tum Bhi Likha Karo Shayari
Tumhara Bhi Meri Tarah Naam Ho Jayega
Jab Tum Par Bhi Padenge Ande Aur Tamatar
To Shaam Ki Sabji Ka Intajaam Ho Jayega…

Scooter pe pyaar


Hamara ishq tha hi itna saccha,
ki scooter par lagta hi tha accha,
Jab milne unse jati thi,
To scooter par hi sapno ka ghar banati thi,
Sara din Delhi ki roads par scooter chalta tha,
aur Hamara ishq us scooter par hi chalta tha.
Magar un pyari batoon mein hum iss kadar kho jate they,
Ki Red light ko bhi paar kar jate they,
Fir aashiqui mein chaalan ho jata tha,
Jo thode bahut paise hote they,
wo bhi traffic police wala le jata tha.
Isliye dosto agar GF ko ghoomane jayo
To driving licence apni jeb mein jaroor le jayo…

Ye Garmi


Arz Hai…
Na Muskurane Ko Jee Chahta Hai
Na Kuch Khane-Peene, Na Sone Ko Jee Chahta Hai
Ye Garmi Ab Bardaast Nahi Hoti
Sab Chhod Kar Ab Shimla Chale Jane Ko Jee Chahta Hai…

Monday, 2 July 2012

Subbaraman at Airport


Anantharaman Subbaraman arrived at Sharjah airport. He ended up waiting for his visa for about 2 hrs for the authorities to call his name.

Finally, he got fed up and went to them and asked why they haven’t called his name yet. They said that they have been calling him for the last hour and a half and were wondering why he hadn’t responded!



The reason was made clear when the immigration officer pronounced his name as: ‘Anotherman Superman’.

Once Banta Singh attended an Interview.


Once Banta Singh attended an Interview.
Interviewer : Give me the opposite words.
Banta Singh : Ok
Interviewer : Made in India
Banta Singh : Destroyed in Pakistan
Interviewer : Good... Keep it Up
Banta Singh : Bad.... Put it Down
Interviewer : Maxi Mum
Banta Singh : Mini Dad
Interviewer : Enough! Take your Seat
Banta Singh : Insufficient! Don't take my seat
Interviewer : Idiot! Take your seat
Banta Singh : Clever! Don't take my seat
Interviewer : I say you get out!
Banta Singh : You didn't say I come in
Interviewer : I reject you!
Banta Singh : You appoint me



Santa in Court

Add caption

SANTA went to court
JUDGE:
"Order ! Order !"
SANTA:
"1 Pizza, 2 Dosa, 3 Idli & 1 Cold-drink !"
JUDGE:
"Shut Up !"
SANTA:"No,No..7-Up!

Kabhi kabhi dil chahta hai kuch asa ho jae…


Kabhi kabhi dil chahta hai kuch asa ho jae…..
Paper ho par result na aye…….
Class ho par teacher na aye……
Bus me baithe par college na jaye…….
Picnic jae aur vapas na aye……
Hafte me 3 din ho or fir Sunday aye…….
Sote rahe din bhar…sham ko ghumne jae……
Hum bilkul na padhe aur pass ho jae……
Sab dost sath rahe or chuttiyan manae…..
Jise chahte he dil se wo apna ho jae……
Barish me bhige aur joor se gana gaye…….
Duniya bhool jaye fir bacche ban jaye…….
Bheed se dur yuhi duniya banae……
Sari jindgi bas yuhi kat jae……..
Kash ye sare sapne sach ho jae………
Kabhi kabhi dil chahta hai kuch asa ho jae.. !

What Would You Say If a Cow Dance



This pj might damage ur senses to think
.
.
what would you say if a cow dances??

.

.

.

.

.

.

.
Guidance.;-)

Santa in Museum


Some tourists in the Punjab Museum of Natural History were marveling at the dinosaur bones. One of them asked the guard, Santa Singh 'Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?' Santa replied, 'They are 3 million, four years, and six months old.' 'That's an awfully exact number,' says the tourist. 'How do you know their age so precisely?' Santa answered, 'Well, the dinosaur bones were three million years old when I started working here, and that was four and a half years ago

Viva In College



Wat is red & goes tring tring?

Guess





TOMATO
the tring tring was
2confuse U..:-)
OK again
What is red and goes tring tring?


guess






Black phone
the red was to confuse U..:-D
OK again
what is red and goes tring tring?



guess





CAKE
both red and tring tring was to confuse U..:-P
OK again
what is red and goes tring tring?


guess





AA
FIRE BRIGADE
and U thought I was confusing U..

dats how examiners take viva in clg..;-):):-P


M Born brilliant but FORCED to STUDY



This story is all about wen i ws in 2nd std.
I was caught talking in class and My Teacher asked me 2 write
"I Wont talk In Class"
50 times on d board,
I wrote
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
for(i=1;i<=50;i++)
printf("I Wont talk In Class\n");



M Born brilliant but FORCED to STUDY..;-(

College Days


  Oneside Love..
Silent Mode Mobiles..
Bus Stand Comedies..
Escape From Seminars..
Last Period Cuts..
Birthday Treats..
Last Minute Preparation..
Over Night Study For Next Exam..
Friend’s Family Functions..
Internal Marks Problem..
Boring Lectures...
Eager Wait For 14th feb..
Shortage Of Pocket Money 'n Attendance......

Most Memorable Days Of College
'n
Every Moments Are Special Now..!

Dedicated To All The Dear College Buddies..

C.A.T Exam Best Question


C.A.T. exam Best Question:
Spell The Word "COW" in 13 Letters.
Toppers couldnt answer,
But Last bench boy answered,
"SEE O DOUBLE YOU"

Gang OF Santa


Gang of Santa-Banta broke a bank, but instead of cash they find
bottles of chilled red wine...
happily they drink and left
next day headline

~ Braking News ~

"Blood Bank Robbed"