Ek Shaitan Baccha !! Funny

Ek shaitan baccha unknown
number
se call karta hai.
ek aadmi uthata hai:
Aadmi: Hello!
Baccha: Ullo pullo kullo! Aadmi: Kaun hai be?
Baccha: Ek Insan
Aadmi: Wo pata hai naam bol?
Baccha: Main ek ganda bacha
hu!
Aadmi: Teri to esi ki tesi! Kahaan rehta hai?
Baccha: Prithvi pe!
Aadmi: Wo to pata hai, phone
kyu kiya?
Baccha: Tujhe pareshan karne
ke liye! Aadmi: Ruk saale! apne baap
ko bula! Chhakke ki aulaad.
Baccha: Hello papa, main
chhotu...

Buri Baat Hai | Funny Sms

AIRPORT
par
AIR INDIA
ki
FLIGHT #9
ke
Plane
Ki
SEAT #52
par
Baithe
PASSENGER
K
saath
Mein
Khadi
AIR HOSTESS
K
BOY FRIEND
K
ghar
k
BED ROOM
K
ATTACH
BATHROOM
K
RIGHT
SIDE
WALI
WINDOW
K
SAATH
WALI
GALEE
K
PEHLE
MOD
PAR
MAUJOOD
SCHOOL
KI
CLASS
4th
K
TEACHER
Ke
TABLE
K
SAMNE
WALI
ROW
KI
4th
BENCH
K
SAATH
WALI
BENCH
PAR
BAITHE
HUE
STUDENT
K
BAG
MEIN
PADI
HUI
ENGLISH
KI
BOOK
K
PAGE #57
KI
LINE #10
MEIN
LIKHA
THA
KI
DOOSRON
KA
TIME WASTE
KARNA
BURI BAAT HAI........
Magar mujhe toh mazaa aata hai.....ha ha
ab ye apne dosto ko share karke unse maze lo...

Ladayi | Funny Sms

Teen bachcho wali vidhwa ne
teen
bachcho wale aadmi se shadi kar
li,
.
.
unke bhi teen bachche huye..
.
.
Ek din ghar mein bachchon ki
zabardast ladai hui,
biwi ne husband kophone kiya,
jaldi
ghar aao, tumhare bachche aur
mere
bachche milkar hamare bachchon
ko
maar rahe hain...

Shaktimaan Joke | Funny Joke

Ek ladki apne boyfriend se park mein roz milne jati Wo roz time par pohonchti,
lekin ladka hamesha late aata Lekin ladki kabhi usse naraz nahi hoti,
Ek din ladki park mei nahi pohonchi,
Ladka gusse se uske ghar gaya Waha pata chala ki ladki ko blood cancer hai aur wo sirf 6 din jiyegi,
Ladka rote huye ghar aya aur sucide karne buildng ke 100th floor par gaya,
Aur ladki ke liye 1 letter chodda Usme likha tha..
Tum mera hamesha wait karti thi aur me roz
late ata tha lekin aaj main jaldi pohonch raha hu aur tumara wait karunga..
.
.
.
.
.
.
Theek ussi wakt Shaktimaan waha se ja raha tha
Kya Shaktimaan usse bacha payega..?
Janne k liye dekhte rahiye SHAKTIMAAN

NEW BLOCKED PJ's | Funny Sms

NEW BLOCKED PJ's

Boy : Whats your Name??
Girl: Palak and you
Boy: Paneer
*BLOCKED!!!*
.
Girl : Hello i am khusbu
Boy : khusbu ka dusra naam bharosa
agarbati....kone kone me khusbu faila
de
**blocked**
.
Boy:hi, wats ur name??
Girl: its Neha Singhal.
Boy: oh. . M also Single.
*blocked*
.
Girl: What's Up?
Boy: Uttar Pradesh...
*gets blocked*
.
Girl : tu soya hai...??
Boy : Nahi...! Schezwan hu..!
*Gets Blocked Instantly*
.
Girl: I'm free tommorow!
Boy: pehle kya paid thi??
*GETS BLOCKED*
.
Boy: aaj mausam achha h mall chalte h.
Girl: waha kya karenge??
Boy: hawan karenge, hawan karenge.
*blocked*
.
Girl : see ya!
Boy: var Ram chandra ki jay..!
Blocked*
.
Girl: Have a Good Day....
Boy: No thank you... I like Parle-G
more...
*BLOCKED*
.
Girl: I need some Space.
Boy: Ok then go to Rahul Gandhi's
forehead.
*Blocked*
.
Girl puts up her status :" waiting for
CHENNAI EXPRESS "…
Boy: COOLIE hai kya? ?
*Blocked*
.
Boy- Thank you
Girl-My pleasure
Boy- My Bajaj Pulsar
*Reported as spam*
*Blocked Forever*

Student Rocks Teacher Shock!!!!!!!!

Teacher:” What will u do after growng up.. ??. Student:” Facebooking . . Teacher:” No! I mean what will u Become…??. . Student:” Admin of facebook pages . . Teacher:” O My G0d! I Mean what will u Achieve after u grow up…??. . Student:” Facebook Admin Rights . . Teacher:” Idiot! I Mean what will u do 4 ur Parents…??. . Student:” I create a page for them on facebooK. “I Luv Mom n Dad.. . . Teacher:” Stupid! What do ur parents want from U…?? Student:” My facebook password.. . . Teacher:” Oh God! What is the purpose of ur Life ??. . Student:” Facebook but never face a book.. Student Rocks…. teacher shock…

BIMARI In Bollywood Style-

BIMARI In Bollywood Style-

1. Jiya Jale Jaan Jale, Raat bhar Dhuwaa Chale= FEVER

2. Tadap Tadap Ke Is Dil Se Aah Nikalti Rahi =HEART ATTACK

3. Judaa Hoke Bhi Tu Mujhme Kanhi Baaki Hai =PET KHARAB

4. Bidi Jalayile Jigar Se Piya Jigar Ma Badi Aag Hai =ACIDITY

5. Tujhme Rab Dikhta Hai Yaara Main Kya Karu =MOTIYABIND

6. Tujhe Yaad Na Meri Aayi Kisi Se Ab Kya Kahna= LOW MEMORY

7. Mann Dole Mera Tann Dole = MIRGi.@

Chemistry | Funny Joke

Na Chmistry hoti na main
Student hota
Na yeah Lab hoti Na Yeah
Accident Hota
Abhi Practical main ayee nazar
Ek Larki Sundar thi Naak Us ki Test Tube
Jaisi
Batoon main Us ki Glucose ki
Mithas thi
Sansoon main Eter ki
Khushboo bhi sath thi
Ankhoon se jhalakta tha kuch
is
Tarah ka Payar
Bin Piye hi ho jata Tha Alcohol
ka Khumar Benzene sa hota tha Uski
Presence ka Ehsas
Andhere main hota tha
Radium
ka Abhas
Nazrain milien, reaction huwa Kuch is tarah Love ka
Production
huwa
Lagne lagay Us ke Ghar ke
Chakar aisay
Nucleus ke charon taraf Electron
hoon jaisay
Us din hamaray Test ka
Confirmation huwa
Jab us ke dady se hamara
Introduction huwa Sun kar hamari baat wo aisay
Uchal pare
Ignesium Tube main jaise
Sodium
Bharak uthe
Wo bole, Hosh main aao, Pahchano apni Auwqat
Iron mil nahin sakta kabhi
Gold
ke saath
Ye sun ker Tuta hamaray
Armanoon Bhara Beaker Aur hum Chup rahay
Benzeldehyde ka Karwa
Ghoont
pee ker
Ab us ki yadoon ke siwa
hamara Kam chalta na tha
Aur Lab main hamaray Dil ke
siwa kuch jalta na tha
Zindagi ho gaye Unsaturated
Hydrocarbon ki Tarah
Aur hum phirte hain Awara Hydrogen ki Tarah.

Arz Kiya Hai | Funny Shayari

Arz kiya hai..

Mountain Dew Peene se udd jaata hai Fear,

Basically your concepts are not clear..
.
Dost ne pucha Exam mein,"5th
Answer Batao",
Maine kaha Melody Khao
khud jaan jaao..

.
Ek aur Arz hai,
Pamela ke Pyar mein pagal ho
gaya peter, Ab Hero Honda Splendor 80KM prati leter..
.
Bas Ek Aur,
aatma chhod gayi Jism purana,
Didi tera Devar
Deewana..

Ek last, Bas Ek,
Blood donate karne ke pehle
hamesha Group
jhachna,
Basanti, in Kutto ke samne mat
Nachna..

Yeh lo Aur Ek aur,

Yasomati Maiyya se bole Nandlala,
Tata Sky laga dala toh Life Jhingalala..

Yeh wala last pakka,

Agar Tabiyat kharab hai to
dhundo koi chemist,
My name is Khan and I'm not a
Terrorist,

Ek aur Plzz,
Dil pagal hai Pyar mein Tere Paaro,

ACP bola,"Daya, Ghar ka kona- kona chaan maaro".. :S

4 Student | Funny Joke

4 Students Ne Paper Ki Tayari Nhi Ki,
Unho Ne 1 Plan Banaya
Or Wo Agle Din Prncpl Ko Bole,
Sir, Hum Shadi Me Gye The,
Raste Me Gadi Ka Tyre Puncher Ho Gya,
Hum Sari Rat Dhakka Lgate Rahe,
Is Lye Padh Nhi Sake,
Prncpl Ne Man Lya Or Unhe 1 Din
Ka Tym Dya, 1 Din Bad Unhe 4 Alag-Alag
Rooms Me Bithaya Or Tino Ko Sirf 1 Sawal Diya.
Q: Konsa Tyre Puncher Tha?
1-Front Right
2-Front Left
3-Back Right
4-Back Left
Note: Agar Same Jawab Hua To Sab Paas.:p

Boy Rock Girl Shock !! | Boy And Girl Joke

Ek ladka scooty par ja raha tha .
.
scooty ka typre bhains k goobar per chale gaye
.
Pass he kuch ladkiya khadi the
.
Uhno ni taliya baja kar bola : happy birthday to you.
.
Tho ladka bola happy birthday bol ne si kuch nahi hoga
.
Cake tho khana padega.
.
Boy rock . Girl shock

Laws Of Life

| ? Laws Of Life :p ? |
1)Law of Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy tone
2)Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch
3)Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner
4)Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire
5)Bath Theorem: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings
6) Law of Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with
7) Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will
8) Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach
9) Theatre Rule: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last
10) Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold
11) Law of Proposal : After u accept a proposal you will get a better one

Beggar Joke

Beggar:Give me food.
Man: I'll give U Vodka.
Beggar: I don't drink, Give me food.
Man: I'll give U cigarettes.
Beggar: I don't smoke.
Man: I'll take U to race.
Beggar: I don't gamble.
Man: I'll get U girl friend.
Beggar: I love only my wife.
Man: I'll give U food, but first U have to come to my house.
Begger: why?
Man: I want my wife to see what state people get into when they

don't Drink, Smoke, Gamble & Love only their own WIFE...:P
LoL..:D

IQ Test

Q1. Which alphabet is a question?
Q2.Which alphabet is a fly?
Q3.which alphabet is a part of our face?
Q4.which alphabet is a tool?
Q5. Which alphabet is a drink?
Q6.which alphabet is in geometry box?
Q7.which alphabet is a source of salt ?

Don't Look in Google.:-)


Answer

A1. Y
A2. B
A3. I
A4. X
A5. T
A6. D
A7. C

CID And 3 Idiots Remixed...

CID And 3 Idiots Remixed...
Bacchon ke Kandho ko Kitabon ke Bojh Ne Jhukaya..
wah wah!! wawa...
ACP:Daya, Tum Khoni Ko Pakdo, Mai "MUTRA VISARJAN" Karke aaya.. :-)

Mere Saath Bhago.

Cheeta Charas Ka Soota Lagane Wala Tha K Achanak 1 Chooha Wahan Aya Aur Bola "Mere Bhai Chad Do Nasha,Aao Mere Sath Bhago,Dekho Ye Jungle Kitna Khubsurat Hai,Aao Mere Sath Duniya Dekho"

Cheete Ne Thodi Dair Socha Phir Choohe K Sath Dodne Laga.

Aage Ek Hathi Afeem Pi Raha Tha,Chooha Phir Bola "Hathi Mere Bhai Chad Do Nasha,Aao Mere Sath Bhago,Dekho Ye Jungle Kitna Khubsurat Hai,Aao Mere Sath Dunia Dekho"

Hathi B Sath Dodne Laga.

Aage Sher Rizla Paper Le Kr Garda Tayar Kr Raha Tha,Choohay Ne Usay B Wohi Kaha. Sher Ne Rizla Side Par Rakha Aur Choohay Ko 5,6 Thappad maare. Hathi Bola"Are!! Ye To Tumhe Zindagi Ki Taraf La Raha Ha,Kiyun Maar Rahe Ho Ese?"

Sher Bola"Aee!! Kutay Da Putar Pichli Vari V Cocain Pee K 3 Ghantay Menu Jungl Vich Nachata Raha"
 

| ♥ Laws Of Life :P ♥ |

1)Law Of Telephone: When You Dial A Wrong Number, You Never Get A Busy Tone
2)Law Of Mechanical Repair: After Your Hands Become Coated With Grease Your Nose Will Begin To Itch
3)Law Of The Workshop: Any Tool, When Dropped, Will Roll To The Least Accessible Corner
4)Law Of The Alibi: If You Tell The Boss You Were Late For Work Because You Had A Flat Tire, The Next Morning You Will Have A Flat Tire
5)Bath Theorem: When The Body Is Immersed In Water, The Telephone Rings
6) Law Of Encounters: The Probability Of Meeting Someone You Know Increases When You Are With Someone You Don't Want To Be Seen With
7) Law Of The Result: When You Try To Prove To Someone That A Machine Won't Work, It Will
8) Law Of Biomechanics: The Severity Of The Itch Is Inversely Proportional To The Reach
9) Theatre Rule: People With The Seats At The Furthest From The Aisle Arrive Last
10) Law Of Coffee: As Soon As You Sit Down For A Cup Of Hot Coffee, Your Boss Will Ask You To Do Something Which Will Last Until The Coffee Is Cold
11) Law Of Proposal : After U Accept A Proposal You Will Get A Better One

"MIDNIGHT POST " LONG BUT MUST READ......

"MIDNIGHT POST "
LONG BUT MUST READ......
Girlfriend called her bf at mid-nite
Gf : Hello Dear
Bf : Haan ji (aa gayi maa ki aankh
...
...
...
pakaane)
Gf : kya kar rahe ho..?
Bf : kuch nahi (pakode talraha hu )
Gf : batao na..?
Bf : kuch nahi dear( aadhi raat ko kya
karte he..! )
Gf : neend nahi aa rahi thi socha
chalo call kar lu
Bf : achha kiya(kamini kal exam he fail
karwa kerahegi )
Gf : hello koi gana sunaona bore ho
rahi
hu
Bf : na yaar (mujhe radio staion
samajh rakha hai kya or 12 baje k
baad to radio channel bhi bnd
hojate he )
Gf : plz sunao na......
Bf : kal pakka ( uff iski
aisi ki taisi )
Gf : na mujhe aaj hi sunna he
if ulv me den u vl sing 4me
Bf : time kya ho raha he..? dear (ye
marwa k hi rahegi )
Gf : 12:30
Bf : or kal mera paper he
Gf : tumne to bola
tha ki tumhara sb ready he
Bf : haan (agr nahi bolta to teri
bakwas kon sunta)
Gf : ok to fir sunao na
Bf : par gane k bad
phone rakh degi ( fans gye beta
to jhelna to padega hi )
Gf : kyu kisi or ki call ka wait
kar rahe ho kya..?
Bf : nhn darling (ye lo saali ne
shak karna bhi start kar diya)
Gf : fir kyu bol rahe ho rakhne ko,
khao meri kasam ki kisi ki call
nahi aayegi....
Bf : teri kasam (itni raat ko to
aadmi wrong number bhi nahi
lagata)
Gf : ok chalo ab
sunao
Bf : ok (beta pyar kiye
ho to jhelna to padega hi banja
aadhi raat ko Himesh
Reshamiya )
Gf : ye wala gao tujh me rab
dikhta he yaara me kya karu....
Bf : ye mujhe nahi aata(kamini tareef
sunegi apni )
Gf : ok to koi dusra suna do...
Bf : ok wait kr sochne de(kya gau ki aaj
ke baad mere
muhse gaana sunne ka naam tak nale )
Gf : Gaao na.....
Bf : phulo ka taroon ka sabka
kahna he ek hazaaro me meri
behna he......saari umr hame
sangrahna
he..!!!!!!!! (le aaj ke baad
naam nahi legi
gaane ka...
iski to maa ki aankh )
Gf : ye kyu gaaya..?
Bf : mera favorite song he(samajhdaar
k
liye ishara kaafi
he kamini )
Gf : hmmmm mujhe neend aa rahihe
bye...
Bf : are kahan ja rahi he sun to tunahi
sunayegi kya..? (mission
complete)
Gf : bye baad me
good night tc jaanu
Bf : tc to jaan (jaan le gayi
kamini jaanu jaanu bol ke
oye teri to 2 baj gye 7 bajese paper iski
to me vaat
lga dunga )

people stay away)

Using ur brain is strictly prohibited.

Mehbuba k pyar me mar gaya peter,Mehbuba k pyar me mar gaya peter,Hero Honda Splendor 80km/Litre.

Agar ho bimar to dhundo chemist,Agar ho bimar to dhundo chemist,My name is Khan & m not a terrorist.

Rat k 2 bje baji ghar ki bell,Rat k 2 bje baji ghar ki bell,Maine Gate Khola toh,Chowkidar bola.ALL IZZ WELLALL IZZ WELL

Karna padta hai apne kharcho pe kabu,Karna padta hai apne kharcho pe kabu,Ek chutki sindur ki kimat tum kya jano ramesh babu??

Tum bin hum yu kaise ji payege,Tum bin hum yu kaise ji payege,"Aayege!Mere Karan Arjun aayege"

Cal karne se pehle balance jachna,Cal karne se pehle balance jachna,Basanti in kutto k samne mat nachna.

Girls V/s Boys

Girls V/s Boys

Boy : Agar paratha aur pizza ko 10th floor se ek saath niche fekenge to dono mese pehle kon niche girega...??
.
.
.
.
Girl : paratha
.
.
Boy : ha ha....wrong , Pizza girega.!
.
Girl : kese ??
.
Boy : kyun ki Pizza fast food hai. :P=D :P:D