"you are again late , i dont know whats your problem what your parent tought you..i think i must call your parent to have some word regarding to you" my class teacher Preeti sharma blasted this on me "sorry ma,am let me give a chance a last chance" i said.."since i know you,your always like these.."...i know it very well every word of her was correct i can denied from it i had been like this since she knew me...."sorry ma,am" i mummered..it was accepted...i sat on my seat i was a back bencher i didnt have a much contacts i was not mingle type boy..it was our new session of 12th..few new face were in class..
in these two months i never dared to talk to her our exams started i wasnt studious so i didnt have a way to pass. i stepped out from class room and was trying to figure out that whether i would clear or not suddenly someone called after me..it was girl of my class she asked me about the exam i didnt lie to her and she laughed and i left the place i had to at home..as stepped i heard a sound of cracking of glasses and some abusive word it took me a fraction of time to make sure that my mother was being smashed by father..this is not 1st time..i had grown b\w their fights ..i was the only son of my parent..as my mother opened the door i saw the fresh scar on her face,nor i niether she said any things becoz we were in habit of it i walked to my room my eyes met to my father i saw a fire in his eyes..they were screaming that you bastered you are just making my money waste you are a loser u cant do any thing in your life and he abused me but i didnt give any kinda attention to his words and slammed my door with all my strength i was on my bed i was crying i thought watsoever my fathers things about me he is right because i was never be the reason of proud for them all they got frustation..niether i was studious nor we were rich enough..all the while mother was knocking my door but i was in my thoughts and slept it was evening suddenly my ear felt irritation of a very loud sound of knocking door it was my father fuck man if its my father then i m going to fuck off soon..instantly i stood and opened the door SLAP SLAP SLAP!! i got very tight slaps he said " you mother fucker why arent you opening the door you asshole what do you thing yourself" i said nothing tears were sheding i went to bathroom to wash my face..i turned on the tap the sound of water was enough to hide the sound my cry how can be my life so misreable how any father can do these things to his son..i had to go through this because i hadnt had another way out..why my mother had to face him every day i wished i had nver born here ..i ate my meal in sielence,our home was like moore..it was so silent that even the tik tok of clock can be heard easily..after finishing my meal again was in my room as just like my room was dark my life was getting dark i was losing my hope my every dream was like beyond my strenght i became totally perritimistic i didnt knew how to way out..because of my family issue i didnt have any friend no one was there to share my sorrow no one was there to strength me no one was there to make me feel happy...i felt relief i found my mother hand on my hair watsoever she was doing i was feeling better she uttered " son dont take your father negative he is just upset about his job and concerned about our upcoming days that how things work in future how he will pay off your fees and other house hold things" i wanted to say thousands of thing to her but before i could say thing i felt my throat heavy the sorrow had tottaly overcame me i wanted to cry i wanted to say,cant i have right to live my live by piece..i too wanna friend in my life i wanted that my friend come my home and have some little funny moments of life i have right to live my life happily i wanted a life where i have my friend my family everyone round me i just want to be loved..i wanted to say to her that its my father who made my life so misreable but i didnt say while se carried on " son its just our bad time and life isnt as simple as we think we are just puppet of life.. life cant be handle by us on the contantary life handle us life instruct us life take tests...life is not simple if its easy its not life and be remember that if you cant handle life at its worest then u dont hve right to enjoy it at its best" i pretended of being slept ...she thought i had slep then she kissed my forehead and left the room again i was alone again..this night was too going to be sleepless and the very next day my exam of maths i didnt have idea about syllabus..busying in my thought when i slept i dont know...i was sleepy when my mother constantly waking me up somehow i managed and brushed my teeths i saw my face i was totally looking moster my eyes were red i didnt sleep properly so its had to happen..i was looking like drunkard mylid were totally swollen mother uttered " son what happened are okay" i replied "yeah mom,and by the who give a damn to me" before she said anythning i went to take bath..school was better enough ..even it was better than my home i was ready to leave i touched her feet she handed some money to me and told me to touch his (father) feet so i did althougjh i wasnt in mood of it but for the sake of my mother i did so...while heading toward school i was in my thought that why mom used to give me money every day even we are not so rich but it was her money she earned it by stitching people clothes ..........so i always kept it and never purchased any think because iwanted to give her a beautiful saree,as i know since my 10th she never owned any saree..fuck!!! i heard sound of my school bell i hurried off as i entered every one was staring at me as they saw any monster red eyes with swollen eye lids..its obvoius to look monster but for me i dont give a damn to those fucking people who startd making assumption without knowing me i sat on bench sheet arrived along with question paper,fuck fuck fuck i didnt know a fucking word of question it was some question related to determinant and i was blank..i looked at the board then at roof i was staring each and every thing of class although i didnt tense abot the exam because i was in peace there..no fights no cries no abusement no one was there to scold for no reason i down my head felt harder because at very next moment i was going to cry..sudden flood of though made my tear wet i wondered about the of all these i thought to suicide but what happened after these who wouyld strenght my mother she was with my father beause of me i was yhe reason of her pain i was the reason of her scars i was the reason of her cry..someone patted my back " boy are u sleeping " i realised that time was over its time to go home "hell like home" i gave my paper to visilator she gave a wierd look i didnt pay much attention..i stepped out..i saw my boys and girls were talking about paper i saw their faces they were quite happy ti was getting over crowd so i waked as soon as poassible i was on my way i didnt want to go to home so i saw a park and thought to have some peace full minutes...i choosed a shady place..the trees were so arranged that it wa sseeming that someone is being teaching to be in line..butter flies were flying here and there..Harshita was going along with her friend they all were talking about something and laughing people have what i dont have they have happiness but have only sorrowness she had a pony hair style although i was far but i could see her..blur image it was though but when its about beautifull girl every boy eyes work like telescope...so i was watching her every step a cute face with a cute smile she was totally divine...suddenly our eyes met may b she got know theat i was watching her, she said something to me and every friend of her stared with a luod laughter,..fuck man know what kinda joke had they cracked about me what who give a damn as i always ignore everyone thoughts............
"what the fuck your are doing with your studies you bastered dont u have any idea about how i m paying your fees and all the stuff your ar totally wastage for me i wished u where never born you are doing poor its your 12th its not a game of kids " dad fired the bullet of anger " i too wished i never born here" i replied " that the only thing left 1st he wasted my money now he is arguing with his father who earned for him woked hard done all the possible thing to give him a better life, see your son you mother fuckker".." you are making my life hell,u are your a losser why are u abusing us we are not the reason of your failure you yourself the reason of it you use to baet mom because u dont have guts to fight against situation u use to beat me because u cant pampered the only child of yours " what the fuck after that fire i realised that something gonna b wrong he went and took a stick which was almost double of my hand..thap thap thap
"how its happened??" " nothing you know how teenagers are...he was just seeting behind his friend and crashed down" o yeah i was crashes if beatten up by your dad is the meaning of crash that i crashed,yes i was crashed, i stared at mom then doctor he smile but i didt "dont worry boy u will b okay its just a hand fracture" what he said its just a fracture well u dont know it seems fractutr but for its the darkness of my life pain is nt a definable word for my pain..its beyond the strength..plaster was done i came out its was very light sun was shining like daimond..now i feel irritating my sun now darkness was much better..after 15 min, mom came she asked for riskshaw but we didnt had enough money to pay.."mom u go by rikshaw" " and what about u??" " i can walk mom my lrg isnt fractured" "i m too coming with u lets walk togather...we were on raod it was the path of my school and it was time of returning..i saw many small children were coming" then my heart stopped beating i saw here Harshita she was infront of me with her friend..i felt nervous for a while i forgot the agony i forgot every thing i forgot those pain full hours i forgot that there is some thing exist except her,,for a while i felt to live..i didnt know waht was in her but she had something..somthing in which had made to stop thinking about pain her lips i those were the best cutves i had ever seen..niether my maths can make perfect curves like that she was somthing irrespective of human she was execption from tip to toe i cant deny that she was perfect the words are failed to describe her..beauty..as the moment passed i realised i was being noticing by someone,it was non other than mom.."boy what going on in your mind haa do u like her" whom mom??" "o plzz dont pretend like you are a little lamb you know what i m talking about,do you like her"she said "no mom wt are talking about mom??"""" i blushed and smiled it was the very 1st since i dnt knw when i laughed she started teasing, it was a very little moment which i liked..at that night i slept..soon i dont know what had happened..somehow my mind distracted..
"Randhir wake up my boy u have to ready for school" what m i heard right...school??? o shitt the very 1st think came..how i will manage how will i stand in front of those question which were going to put up...i had to b prepare for thousand of liei had to be prepared for the thousands of eye i had to be prepare for thousands of jokes..i had to prepare for make them realise that it was just accedent which causes my fracture..i had to make them understand "mom i m paining i cant" sleepy with pain i said although i wasnt but i did want to escape from those question for which i never wanted to answer..she got the thread "my boy if you are threatened about those question than i must u should face these liltle things give strenght to stand right time when its oppiste to you..all i can say you must face them,tell me my boy how long you escape how long you hide how long you afraid??..be brave its not class test its the which is being taken by fate"" "ok ok mom i got it i m going you lectures mom,its better that i should go" i replied but know i realised that each and every word of her is true and its universal truth of life we humans always try to skip from our responsiblity but be brave,be optimistic,be grateful for everything in life is life..problems are the lession of life..what if you topped and got 99% but you failed in your life your failed in your responsibilty..then what yeah you played student role best but you failed to being human you failed in your life "your getting late do hastly" mom shouted "mom i m doing my best how can i manage when my one ihand is on rest" i screamed while my father woke and i was like fuck man know again somthing gonna wrong but thanks god nothing happened..he went to bathroom while i was looking at mirror..u know nothing was aglier than a boy with fractured hand and thin body i was terrible..i ate my break fast and went..eavery thing facinates me except my own home
"so how did it happen" Peeti sharma the enlish and as well as my class teacher questioned me "ma'am i fell" i answered " and from where would you explain me???" "ma'am from stairs" i lied "okay submit your medical certificate you all have been absent from a week" she order all the while every eyes where curious every eyes wanted to know the cause or it "okay ma'am" with it i took my seat...still they were eyeing on i didnt want to be notice man why are watching my step...i thought,,,games period every one trying to convence teacher to take them for games he agreed..two different quees one for boys and another one for girl..every desk was alone execpt my desk "arent you coming" ...someone cracked a joke about me every one laughed..every one gone..after a while i was ager to see ger i stepped out she was playing football with few male and emale classmates..i was watching them..i wanted a clear view so i when there ..i found grass and set on it...lesson repeated in unison very loud..school wasnt silent it was mixed soundn of ruler rapping and talking of boys/girls in thier classes...WATCHOUt...."are you okay???" before i got my conscience i fell
i opened my eyes i was conscious now mom and dad were either side "are you okay??" my father asked i got 440 volt shock my father was asking me about my condtion in 2 years he never asked me ever but now lamb was being cared by his own parent.."i m okay" i replied and he left.."what had happened Randhir??" she asked "mom i was just sitting and someone hit the ball and ball hit my shoulder andafter it was feeling like chakkar" as i spoke this word "are you okay who was the one who asked me i had the blur memories so i didnt remember....
"sorry i didnt that delibrately" Harshita apologised..i was i commotion was she is apologizing but it was the very 1st time happening when she was only 1-2 metre away her fragrance was rthe most delcioius it was somthing that very sharp it was heaviesr it was like my region was covered by fragrance with every breadtrh i was taking her smell her lips,her face it everything was perfect goddess of beauty yeah indeed she was i realised it was late so i replied " for what??" "that ball it was me" "ooo! that was you i guess u never played the football in your whole life" i teased